I used to be so excited to sit down and pop off a blog post here. I can remember talking excitedly about it to my partner or to my online friends. It felt like a great place to go and get it all out so I could [mostly never] look back on how far things have changed over the many years I used this platform. I can recall thinking fondly of the future of this place and all the ideas percolating, ready to eventually be born.
But then, I got tired of the bullshit. And tired of myself. And tired of no one giving a tin shit. And curmudgeonly old about moving to a different platform. And jaded about everything. And annoyed with the changes WP kept rolling out “to make the platform easier”. And then life happened and the world kept spinning ridiculously like it does every day, every month, every year. And I fell out of love with this blog and this platform and frankly, this practice.
It often felt like I was still Kemetic because it was there. And how did I write about all that on a blog to share those vulnerabilities with the 2 people who ever consistently read my blog? That might seem like a vain question but I started this blog to network and community build and learn and grow. One can’t do all that solo. And okay, I’ll admit there’s a smidgen of Leo sun in that question too.
And yeah. Okay, okay. Two conistent readers might be pushing it. TTR has always been the one honestly. And I didn’t want to bother them. They had their own stuff, their own life, and since I’ve always very much felt like I have nothing of value to add to a discussion/conversation, I didn’t want to continue to force myself on them. What’s the point in that? It’s bound to get annoying.
So, I hermit-ed and dusted this shit off now and again. But mostly hermit-ing with a lot of jadedness and even more listlessness. I couldn’t really find a reason to bother, to care, to even remotely try.
But that’s not really true, I suppose. I did try in different ways. I joined TikTok and after resolving never to post videos there, I got shoved into it by a certain lioness-faced goddess. And realized that the Kemetic niche over there was tiny as shit, so kept going. (Still there.) And maybe I’ve made a difference and maybe I’ve pissed people off but I kind of enjoy it a bit even if I have a hard time figuring out what new content to post and loudly not-discussing things I would prefer to (like local cultus ’cause of course that shit flops on TT the way it did on Tumblr and here).
And I think I’ve found a community [on Tumblr] that works. Not a witch really but they all are. And they do stuff en masse once a month-ish. It’s dragged me back to Tumblr when I was really kind of thinking about archiving that shit and never logging in. And gotten me interested in things I’ve known I was interested in investigating but never bothered. I don’t always participate in the stuff going on [because life] but I enjoy reading others’ posts again and thinking about a future.
So, maybe I am still trying and didn’t actually give up as much as I thought I had.
But. To the point of whatever the fuck this entry is…
Um, like. I don’t fucking know anymore but my ancestors started getting fucking ANNOYING about this damn blog. “Write about it,” they would say. And they were always pointing here. Not at a journal. Not in a Word doc. Not on Tumblr. Here. And I would go, write about fucking WHAT. It got to the point where every fucking reading was, “you should write about that.” About WHAT. Didn’t seem to matter what; just write about it.
So, I guess this is my ode to the ancestors. Maybe I will; maybe I’ll keep ignoring you. But I’ve blown the dust off this thing at any rate. Maybe the next time we sit down again, you can find some new piece of advice to give.