Nephthys.

In February, I was beginning to despair that things weren’t going to work out the way that I wanted them to. I don’t know if anyone realizes this, but I tend to come down on the side of “never going to work out” because hope is a thing that I don’t really know how to have. It always works out best if I assume the worst because I’ll never truly be disappointed. But this year isn’t about assuming the worst; it’s about moving forward and being reborn. Unfortunately or otherwise, a part of that means that hope is a thing that has to happen.

During a conversation with one of my long-time friends where we were discussing what was going on with me, they mentioned that they had done a reading for me about the whole thing. As part of that reading, the cards seemed to indicate that I should reach out to Nephthys. I kind of laughed and said, “Are you sure?” They confirmed twice and said that I should probably look into it.

After doing the usual research (going to Butler’s entry on Nephthys), I found it interesting that Nephthys’s name is translated into “Mistress of the House.” According to Wikipedia, this could be a misnomer; a citation-less note on that page seems to indicate that her name could mean “Mistress of the [Temple] Enclosure.” Based on further reading I’ve done on her since, I have a tendency to think that it’s all the same; in either case, she’s still a mistress of some closed off space.

As I was going through various pages, trying to catch a glimmer of who this unknown-to-me goddess was, I kept coming back to the translation of her name and the fact that her name, when written in hieroglyphs, looks very much like the traditional house hieroglyph with a bowl plunked down on top. I was apparently not the only one to see this since TTR agreed that they, too, saw the same house image with a bowl placed on the roof.

I couldn’t get this bowl thought out of my head.

Whenever I would sit down to look deeper into this mystery goddess, I couldn’t help but keep coming back to the bowl on top of the house image. I kept picturing a house with a bowl to catch rain water. Sometimes I would picture the bowl filled with the same kind of crap you could expect to see in a gutter around a house, but mostly, I kept coming back to the idea of the bowl catching rainwater, or maybe even snow in the winter.

I assured myself that the bowl was immaterial probably; the important part was that she could help me out. But even with my own false assurances loudly ringing hollow in my own ears, I kept coming back to the hieroglyph of her name, of the square that I’ve seen a hundred times in similar position when I’m looking into Hathor for one reason or another: her name uses that same little box since her name translates to “House of Horus”.

The idea that Nephthys has a relationship to the home makes sense to me, although after doing further research on her, the translation of her name meaning temple enclosure could also fit. But before all of that deeper dig into the source material, the idea that Nephthys was related to the house wouldn’t leave me. And I kept asking myself: Well, why can’t she be a household deity?

We know little about the religion of the laity, a point I’ve made many times over. The bits that we do know seem to indicate that they had idols of gods like Hathor, Djehuty, Bes, and others in enclosures in their home. It’s not quite so different in a very broad way from what most pagans and polytheists are doing now except that we aren’t sure how those household deities were worshiped.

Now, I did look around to see if there was any evidence that a Nephthys idol could have been found in any of the homes that have been excavated and I came up with nothing. In fact, the more I looked into it, the more I began to feel like this was probably not something that was done in antiquity, but I wasn’t getting any negative push back from any of my household gods about it. To be blunt, the more I thought about it, the more I felt like this was A Thing that Should Happen.

To prevent myself from over-thinking it, I went back to the books, back to the research. If I was going to do something that was probably a-historical, then I should at least have a firmer base in history.

Nephthys didn’t have much on her own, all said and done. Her story is often tied with others: Osiris and Isis the most often, Set on occasion. It is the connection between her sister, Isis, and she that is most often discussed in the places I looked. The two of them are the professional mourners par excellence for Osiris and it is the two of them that protect him. There’s more to it than all of that, but I kept seeing that where Isis went, her sister Nephthys was sure to be there, to follow in her sister’s footsteps. But Nephthys was no slouch when she is depicted or discussed on her own though this seems to have not occurred often: she is a deity who can battle, who can heal, who can drink excessively, and who can do many more things besides. As with them all, she is multifaceted.

Nephthys also didn’t appear to have much in the way if a temple at all. There is record of one small place that seems to have been her own, but all other temple mentions indicate that she was included in the reindeer games of other gods’ temples. This brought me back to the idea of her being a household deity; I mean, after all, Bes was a household deity and he didn’t get his own temple either. Why couldn’t Nephthys be like him in that way?

When an idea won’t leave my head, I push back on it in every conceivable way and then, I give up. Sometimes the ideas are good; sometimes the ideas don’t work out. But this one had a feeling to it that made me think this could work out in my favor. I decided that I would at least give it a short, push to include Nephthys as a household deity with the rest of my household deities.

As I began looking over my household altar space, which is amusingly enough, situated on top of a box, I could practically picture a large bowl on top of it. The bowl color is the color of sand and within that bowl was… paper. Little tiny strips of paper that reminded me of the daily angel message strips my MiL was given when one of her good friends died. Those messages are filled with positive and happy messages, feel-good things that you are meant to focus on throughout the day to guide you ever forward.

The difference between those messages and what I was seeing in my head was that the strips of paper included things that I would want to see in my household. Happy and calm vibes; strong maintenance schedule; clear communication between the household members; etc. These were all things that you would, hopefully anyway, like to have occur in your house and amongst the people of your household.

I could see the bowl filled with various semi-precious stones to help attract the very things that you would want to see, but I could also see a giant feather of ma’at, too, because at the very base of it all, you would want ma’at to flourish within your home.

I pulled out the little purple card I had made for Nephthys many years ago when I began honoring the children of Nut and Geb on their birthdays and tried to figure out where to place it on my household altar. The box I have it not very big. It is just large enough for the things I had kept on it up to now, so I had to rearrange and move things around so I could make room for this sand-colored bowl and Nephthys’ name in addition to the pieces of my household altar space that I felt needed to be retained at all costs.

When I was done, I felt like this could work out at any rate. I placed the bowl behind my icon of Bes and his household deities-in-arms, Wenut, Tawaret, and Wadjet. I was actually very proud of the arrangement and felt like I had done the vision in my head proud (which is not always the case). I felt like this was functional enough for daily rituals but also that Nephthys’s specific function was segmented back enough from the other three so that, while they are all technically fulfilling the household deity dynamic, their paths are separated enough for me to focus on the grouping or specifically on Nephthys, depending on what I’m aiming for.

Then it came time to fill the bowl. My feather of ma’at amulet was the first thing to enter. I batted around the idea of including a magnet of some sort. TTR and I had discussed adding a magnet to attract all the things I was putting out there, perhaps with a feather of ma’at drawn upon its sides, but I couldn’t find a magnet that I felt worked for the moment, so instead, I sat down to write down all the things I wanted to see.

I took a small sheet of notebook paper and wrote down various items that I wanted. I wrote them down on one line apiece, if I could, but no bigger than two lines. And once I had filled an entire page of notebook paper, I cut them all down into strips to wrap them into the bowl around my feather of ma’at paper. This was actually harder than I thought it would be because the sandstone bowl I chose for this purpose is actually a lot smaller than the one I pictured in my head.

Once I was done, I stood back and found some remaining things that needed to be added: fake flowers. I love real flowers but I don’t like in a place where those live for very long. So I pulled some of the fake white flowers I have stashed everywhere and placed them all on top and around the bowl to cultivate what I want to see in my home.

I honestly don’t know if this working out so far. This setup hasn’t been up for very long: a little less than a month. But when I walk over to my household altar to do something in the morning, I can feel the difference. It was stagnated before (partially because I needed to clean and rearrange as I do every three months or so) but also because the feeling that I had needed to be fulfilled before the space could open itself back up to me.

It’s been opened up for three weeks or so now and I can feel the hard work that I put into it reflecting back into the walls and the people who live here. It doesn’t feel as if I have done something wrong or that I shouldn’t have done this. It feels right in that way that a polytheist or pagan will get when they know what they’re doing isn’t necessarily historically accurate but at least seems to be working for the time being.

I have another picture in my head of how this will change and evolve over time, but we’re not there yet. All I know is that I can see what the future of this endeavor will look like and it looks kind of awesome.

Thus far, I have had very little communication with Nephthys on the solo front. She has always been a silent goddess to me; she was never truly mine at any rate. I have had no dreams of her as I have had dreams of Bes and Wenut. I have heard not a peep and maybe that means she is quietly working away, diligently pushing forward the things I asked for with my little bowl of messages.

We’ll see at any rate.

Prep.

I spent today cleaning, which isn’t very shocking. I live in a small household and I have a young child; cleaning is pretty much a daily occurrence. But with Wep Ronpet coming up, I knew that I wanted to get a handle on the hoarder like tendencies that had overtaken my kitchen table and wash down the walls [in public areas] in preparation for what was coming. I also knew I needed to make serious decisions about where certain things are headed and I had to make serious room for rituals that I’ve been nudged/pushed/shoved/hinted/informed/ordered to do this Wep Ronpet [season]. So, I had a lot of fucking stuff to do and I had decisions to make.

The main decision being, not that I was going to do these things because I was going to do the things, but where these things were going to take place. As I’ve mentioned numerous times, I live in a small house. I have my altar spaces in a public area (the dining room/kitchen area) so that I wouldn’t forget to give offerings daily. My house is built very strangely so I have the room to have tables just kind of hanging out, waiting around for things to go on them. The problem with this set up is that this is the only space where I can have these things, which means when larger rites are requested, such as those for Wep Ronpet, I need to consider where the hell things are going to be happening.

In a fit of pique last year, I purchased one of those shitty build-it-yourself bookcase for $20, which is where I housed the lwa and their related accoutrements. As I mentioned last month, the lwa have been missing in the last few months. I’ve thought about this issue not very much since I wrote that post because it’s painful. If I’m correct in my assumption that they’re gone, I know why (the lesson was learned) and that hurts. But if I’m incorrect and they’re just biding their time because right now is high Kemetic time, then I don’t want to be rash.

But I also need more fucking space to do things and to have things because, as much as I love the lwa and the relationships I’ve cultivated with them, my first calling has always been to the Kemetic gods. Or, to put it more clearly: they got first dibs. And their dibs, especially right now, are really fucking loud, really fucking non-negotiable, and really fucking important to get the fuck through. Maybe, just maybe, the lwa will come back with the cool air of the fall (hopefully around the same time when I start up my grave-tending services) and the winter months… since I’ve mentioned they tend to be, er, louder in winter. But, then again, maybe not.

Again, in the meantime, I need more fucking space.

With a heavy heart, I cleared off the bookcase I had purchased with the specific intent to house the lwa. I’ve turned this into my “household altar space.” Since I am, as anyone knows, a deity collector, I have a lot of fucking gods that I need to pay attention to at any given moment. Our relationships, for the most part, aren’t nearly as intense or as all-pervasive as my relationship with Sekhmet, which is to be expected. In many instances, the relationships I have had with the gods who have come poking around, looking for attention, have taken on similar aspects to the one I have with Geb (details, for those interested).

This is a real weight off my shoulders, by the way; I don’t think I can even explain adequately how overwhelming it can be to feel the need to pay attention to a dozen various netjeru at any given moment. I know there are other polytheists out there, like me, who have developed relationships or been pushed toward other deities/beings by their gods and have, in consequence, developed required attention-paying duties to said new beings/deities at any given moment. I’m actually in this boat, myself, so I decided that it would be best to kind of follow ancient Egyptian customs and just have a place where household type deities are paid attention to.

Of course, unlike the ancient Egyptians, I have deities within my “household” area that may not necessarily fit in with their dynamic. There is no Tawaret and Meskhenet holds no sway over me, either. But I do pay attention to Bes and Hetheru and Aset. I have since added the other flocks on over, telling them each morning that they can stop in for a bite and ask to share some cool water with the residents-with-icons (Hetheru, Djehuty, and Aset), if those residents are so inclined.

Seriously, this was the best fucking decision I have ever made.

In so moving my household altar space, I have also decided to open up my “hoarder fucking alert” cabinet. This is where the household space used to reside [on top]. Within the cabinet is, well, it’s a fucking packrat’s wet dream. Most of it is herbs and herb-related things for those off moments when I think, “Yes, I shall magic,” and utilize such things to get what I want. The thing is that these fucking jars are damn bulky and I would prefer to not have them in the cabinet. However, since I don’t up my stores of herbs and it can be a lengthy period of time between uses, I also don’t want them in direct light or in a public area where some yahoo can touch or where a child may break them.

(Magical parenting problems? Parents-who-magic problems?)

I decided to pull out the Tarot collection and toss it over underneath the household altar. I figure this is a good decision because then, I may be more inclined to use them again. My Tarot or oracle deck use has seriously gone down the fucking tube in the last year. I honestly don’t know if this is because I don’t have a lot of time to myself and I tend to need quiet time to read what the cards are telling me, or if it’s because I just don’t want to know what to expect or what could be coming my way. I guess that could be considered a stupid move – head-in-the-sand thing – but it’s kind of my M.O. about these things.

Also, I have decks that I either need to sell or give away. So, by pulling these out and putting them in a [more] public area, I’m kind of helping myself… maybe? I think that if I see the decks regularly, since they are on the second shelf of the bookcase thing, this might mean that I actually do something about all of that? Besides, outside of two decks that I really like, most of the Tarot are taking up space so that I can’t collect the ancient Egyptian themed decks that I actively collect with no purpose other than to own them. By getting rid of decks, then, you know, I have more space for things that take up that space.

Yes, I know these is clearly an issue, but it’s my issue and I like it.

As I began pulling out the Tarot decks, I discovered that I have a metric shit-fuck-ton of candles. I knew I had a lot because I have them hanging out all over the place in my house. This is not, by the way, packrat tendencies but concerns raised when I was out of candles during the entire fucking week my neighborhood was without power after the Halloween nor’easter. But, I have candles that don’t really aid with possible power outages… as in, I found an entire box of tea lights (white) and then random tea lights (four, scented) and then I found a bunch more tea lights (white) in a baggy. I don’t even know what I have all of these tea lights for or when I purchased them. The box has a sticker, though, which says I was planning all of this at a dollar store.

Now I have to decide what to do with them. They aren’t going to help me with this week’s ritual stuff. I have full-fledged candles already set up and I have an entire box of votive candles (white) that I have on hand for just such a purpose… on top of the smaller box of votive candles (also white) that I bought last week, sure that I had thrown out aforementioned large box.

Maybe I have more problems than I’m willing to admit.*

* This is actually quite possible. Hoarding is a family trait from my grandmother whose entire upper story was filled with useless tidbits. My mother and I have both found ourselves guilty of these things, even after swearing we would not be like my grandmother. This is why I go through my stuff, or try to, regularly and throw random things away/give things away because I swear I’m not doing this packrat/hoarder nightmare shit.

I love candles, but I think I’m at my candle limit. Hopefully, I will remember this moment and all of my candle ridiculousness the next time I am in a store that sells candles… even if they’re on sale or something.

After a lot of back and forth, I think I figured out a functional cabinet layout that will allow me to keep ritual items within it until I need them. I was able to clear space out from the drawer that I stash ritual items in (underneath Sekhmet’s space) and move things to the cabinet. Of course, though I have finally managed to get the damn thing closed with a modicum of belief that I was “successful,” I have to admit that I forgot other ritual items that will need to be housed within there. (They’re currently waiting to be cleaned.)

After about four hours of thinking, moving things, debating what can and cannot be kept out, and then re-thinking what I decided, I think I have a functional space. I also think I’m set up, mostly, for the physical things for Wep Ronpet and the Intercalary Days. Hopefully, these rites are successful and I end up happy with the end result.

The Hankerings and Biddings of My Myriad of Benefactors.

My spiritual life is a little odd and definitely chaotic at the moment. On the one hand, I have four different other-worldly beings that I have to mollify in some form or another. And on the other hand, I have to balance the Kemetic want and need from my patronesses and the voodoo desires from the lwa who have made themselves at home. They all want something at any given moment and more often than not, it’s at the same time. This leaves me with a conundrum: who do I pay more attention to? Who gets me at that particular second in time? And, can I balance the wants of the lwa with the desires of the goddesses?

It’s a frickin’ balancing act.

And it makes my head spin.

Sekhmet
Recently, she’s been on my mind. I think a large portion of this is because I’ve been feeling the wheels of injustice turning around me and as the goddess of justice, it only stands to reason. However, I think another part of this is because she was the first. And like all people who are suffering from a hard go of things, I turn to the patroness that is more familiar to me than all of the others. I know her presence as well as I know my own and so, it is to her arms that I find myself turning for comfort at this juncture in my life.

The other night, I had this insatiable desire to prostrate myself out in front of her residence on my Getting-Steadily-More-Crowded altar area. This was the beginning of her being at the foremost of my thoughts, actually. I didn’t end up prostrating myself that night because I like to give myself tons of excuses as to why I can’t do things. She was both amused and irritated with me since, obviously, if I had the urge, then I should do it. And of course, she knows better than myself that just because I feel something or I am told to try something that doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m going to do it. (For example, my mother informed me that I should start watching The Big Bang Theory when I was living in Texas with her. Four years later, I finally took her advice, since nothing else was on that night, and found out that she was right from the very beginning.) In fact, if I’m told to do something, I’m even more likely to ignore it or not do it.

I’m just contrary, I guess.

That same evening, I got this distinctive impression that she wanted something from me. My mind is easy at supplying words to these basic feelings that I often get from her: senut, she says. And I’m just kind of like, “Really? Again? We want to do this again?” She wants formality; she wants my attention and above all, she wants me to start… something important. (Don’t know what yet.) However, to begin this little adventure of hers, she wants me to get back to formal and start doing senut with her. She says that she doesn’t care what I say or how I say it, out loud or in my head, but she wants offerings every fucking morning, damn it, and she wants my fucking attention. (Swears added by me, but the intent was there.) I’m just kind of like… “Can’t I just prostrate, instead?”

No.

I’ve been praying to her, a lot, in the last few days, too. This is a part of her always being at the foremost of my thoughts. In the shower, outside during my walks, and just now before I started writing this: Prayer, prayer, prayer. Today, I finally did prostrate myself and I felt a little ridiculous (and monstrously fat). My son came over to see what I was doing and the dog decided she had to lick my face right that second to ward off any tears. (Actually, my son came over for similar reason only without the face-licking aspect.) I don’t feel any better after having done it, but I think it is to be a model for what I have to prep myself for.

This is the desire and demand of the Lady of the Flame.

Hwt-Hrw
She’s mostly a quiet goddess for me. A lot of this stems from our uncertain behavior with one another. She’s worried that if she throws herself all in with me, then I’m going to run away from her (again). And I’m worried that if she tried to throw herself all in, then I’m going to run away from her (again). So, we’re kind of taking things slowly. What this really means is that I give her some attention when I want to do Tarot readings—I light a candle to her and ask her to guide my hand before I begin—and that’s about it.

Her job around here, I thought initially, was to get me back into the sexual creature that I know I can be and just… aren’t. (Sexual abuse is so awesome! It’s the gift that keeps giving!) In fact, if I have an urge, I’m more likely to bury it under a heavy stone. I figured that she was coming around because, you know, this is bad and I’m actually kind of tired of it. If I could change it on my own, I would. However, I’m so used to not giving in to said urges that I don’t think I know how to actually, like, fix it on my own. So, I assumed that when she showed up … last year? (I can’t even fucking remember and I don’t have the energy to look back.)… that was her purpose.

And maybe that was true back then, but it’s not the case currently.

To me, she’s always been a magical deity. When I think about mother and wifely goddesses, I always think of Aset first. Hwt-Hrw filled these rolls before, but I always think of her as more with being one with the sexuality of being a woman, as well as sensuality, and magic. I’m not really sure where I get this feeling or idea. I mean, more often than not, I’ve noticed that most Kemetics have the two deities reversed: Hwt-Hrw for motherhood and Aset for magic. To be honest, and I’ve given this no thought prior to this second in time, I think the difference for me is because of my intense relationship with Sekhmet, who Hwt-Hrw is closely related to. I’m not sure how that correlates with how I view them, but I’m pretty sure it does…

…and I’m rambling.

So, what started her coming back around was my intense focus on looking into various magical paths. When I started reading about hedge witchery, I felt like she was standing behind me and reading over the material I was taking in. Every time I went onto Amazon to add more books on various magical traditions into my Wish List, I felt her there, guiding my hand. It is from her, I feel, that my magical practice will entirely stem. And this is what the hell she wants from me: she wants me to practice, she wants me to learn, and she wants me to stop putting it the eff off already! (I think that’s verbatim, right there…)

This is the demand and desire from the Lady of the Sky.

Papa Legba
I like to think of him as a kind of spiritual tornado that comes up and messes shit around until you’re left completely lost and thirty miles from home. I mean, obviously, he’s the kind of tornado that you can survive (so therefore, not in this plane of existence). But, in an odd way, I really see him this way. I suppose that comes from the fact that he decided to show up in my life and almost immediately started messing around with things. Obviously, I needed the kick in the pants he gave me since I wasn’t doing it for myself. He and I have come to terms with the fact that he messed around with things until I am where I currently am and that I really wasn’t really happy about it. I guess we’ve surpassed that phase in our relationship.

As the guardian of the crossroads, choices are entirely his domain. At least, that’s how I like to see it. It’s like anything that I decide on this long road of mine is important to him and something that honors him, in a way. To be honest, I want to make him a little shadow box with green grass on either side of this random white gate in the center. I think he’d get a kick out of it and, you know, since he’s all about gateways, too, it’s kind of like an ultimate of ultimate saying, “Hey. I accept you. You’re cool shit.” I think it’s also a way for me to (A) get down with my creative genes, (B) deal with the whole “fucking with my life” stuff that he likes to do and (C) make amends for my snotty behavior right after he fucked with my life.

He started falling into less prominence lately, which bothered me. I didn’t hear a word from him until well after he had ruined my working career (at a shitty place of business that I never would have left if he hadn’t changed things). So, I’m a little frightened by his silence. He tells me that I shouldn’t be because he’s a busy little lwa and he’s got other things to do. However, he does stop in sometimes, in the morning hours when we’re sharing a cup of coffee together, he asks things of me. It was during one of those moments that he demanded I write something for him. An offering from your most important creative center is what he said.

And he really does seem to like that little poem/sonnet that I wrote to him. I even told him that I would be printing it out for him on some nice paper when I have money again. I also promised that I would frame it, as he had asked. It would do a spot nicer to have it all done up and pretty-fied since the original copy is pretty much being torn to shit by the fact that it’s just lying on top of the Mutual Altar Space. While I plan on keeping the original (possibly folded up in the back of the printed copy), at least I won’t have to worry about spilling coffee all over a framed version.

Just the other day, though, he asked me for a big one that I’ve been kind of debating about. He asked if I could move Papa Ghede from the Community Altar. He’s encroaching on my spot and I’m sick of it. When I thought about moving Papa Legba to a spot, somehow, over by the front door (since you know, doorways are his thing) he told me to take a leap. I believe the wording was: I was here first, damn it! He can move the fuck on! This leaves me in a bit of a space issue and a quandary. And of course, it’s not like Ghede wants to tell me what the hell he wants because that would be too easy.

No, he just expects me to guess.

In the mean time, I get the feeling that Papa Legba is having a pouting adventure over on his portion of the Communal Altar Area. I don’t blame him and he’s right: he was around first. He’s the one who suggested the shared altar and how to set it up. He has every right to stay there. So, while he’s having his pouting session until I come up with something decent, I’m left in a bind.

This is what The Old Man requires and requests of me.

Papa Ghede
I have the hardest time with this particular lwa. He doesn’t seem much on chattering away like Papa Legba was after he came over to me. I think, sort of, that this has to do with the fact that he has to do with the dead. I would gather that the dead don’t speak much unless spoken to. I mean, honestly, I don’t really know. I talk to the dead (or myself) all of the time, but Papa Ghede is anything but a talkative lwa. It’s like he gets off on being all inscrutable and ineffable. To be honest, I’d say that it’s annoying, but I honestly don’t know if he would be amused, bored, or irritated by the sentiment. So pretty much, I just guess on what the hell I’m doing and hope that it’s okay.

He’s inquired after my serving him, which has been his only request to date. Everything else has been me, hoping to impress or gain his acceptance. I don’t have a mentor that I can turn to and discuss this with. A lot of time I have doubts: is it Ghede? What if it’s something else masquerading? What if it’s another lwa who is now offended because I don’t know the difference between Ghede and —–? How do I know that I’m not just insane? I mean, if I had someone around nearby who hung out with the lwa, I could at least voice this opinion to someone and get their thoughts on it. And if they were nearby, they could maybe tell me what they felt about it.

In the mean time, I’m left, as I said, guessing.

The move to a new spot is paramount for both Papa Legba and Papa Ghede. I have a kind of idea about it, but since Papa Ghede is doing the mysterious shtick, I can ask his opinion and not get anywhere. There is a possibility of a place since the representation that he has is a picture: I can, of course, hang it up on the wall. It came with a little hook thing that I can use to attach it to a spot in the hallway (one of the few places I feel comfortable placing it). However, I wouldn’t have anything to use to place any offerings for him. And since, I do want to make him 21 Pepper Rum, I do need to have a spot to place offerings.

Thus, the conundrum.

In the end, it’s all about space or a lack thereof. I know what I [eventually] would like to have for a spot for Papa Ghede, but in the mean time…

I do know that the grave-tending is tantamount to the servitude. This is unquestionable and one of the few things that I actually do know. (This also leads me to wonder, more often than not, if it isn’t Papa Ghede and maybe is just the Baron whose come a-knocking.) Every time I go to a cemetery with the intention of bringing them into the foreground, I get a feeling of lightheartedness and gaiety. This is, of course, why I know that I’m doing the right thing. And I, at least, didn’t even have to guess what it was or wait to have it requested, at least.

I just wish I knew what he wanted. All the others have had no problem demanding things of me, but this one lwa… It’s all a game, maybe, and I’m the only one with pieces on the board.