But I Want To Go, Too!

I’m taking a break from Tumblr for reasons, but so much of my pagan/polytheist community is over there with me that I hear all the stuff going on anyway.  Apparently, there’s a sudden flourish of interest in traveling to the astral realms. I will admit that I saw some of this shit before I flipped my shit and deleted my Tumblr app from my tablet. A sudden profusion of queries regarding what it’s like, how to get there, etc. In the time I’ve been away (barely 24 hours as I write this), there are some people getting angry/upset/bitchy with the people who do go over there for not “sharing the secrets to get to the astral.”

You know what I have to say?

Are you fucking insane?

I have been friends with Dusken and L for nearly a year. In that time, I have watched them get beaten the fuck up by all the shit they do and see on the astral. I have heard stories of some really awesome moments either together or singularly, but these have all been tempered by all of the fucked up shit, which I won’t mention specifically as it is not my place to do so, that these two have gone through. When my friend, Devo began entering the astral, I started reading her experiences there. And again, some awesome stuff has gone on amid some serious fuckery. Again, I won’t be specific because it’s not my place, but suffice it to say that dead children are the icing on the fuckery cake.

Who the fuck wants dead children as icing on the astral cake? No one. However, shit like that is rife over there. As all three have been saying for months now, the astral gives no fucks. And it doesn’t. There are no fucking rules, which is why you can be wherever the fuck you want and everything looks however the fuck it wants. That, also, means that if it feels like fucking your day up, then it will fuck your day up. And it really doesn’t matter how you feel about the astral fucking up your day. You’ll have to swallow that pain and keep motherfucking going because, excuse me while I repeat myself again, it gives no fucks.

Nope. Not a one.

Nope. Not a one.

I go to the astral, nearly every night. I’ll tell you something. I really don’t want to be there. The place scares me out of my fucking gourd. But, dutifully, I put on my coat, my gloves, and my hiking boots. I strap on a knife and make sure my Protective Ride is ready to go. I hold Hekate’s hand and we get going so that the past life thing can hurry up and get finished. I do not cross the street without holding her hand and looking both ways. I do not take sweets from strangers nor do I talk to strangers. I do not look left nor right as we go wherever we are going; I look straight ahead and keep careful pace with Hekate. I am there for a very specific purpose and I am intent on that very specific purpose. We go, we see, we come back. End of story.

And I can tell you this: once this whole past life shenans are over, I do not plan on going back. I do not want to find a guide. I do not want to have to use my Protective Ride anymore (except as a sentry for wherever I am in the physical plane). I do not want to go soul journeying. I do not want to pick flowers and see unicorns or dragons. I do not want to do a damn thing over there besides get my working finished and move the fuck on with my life. Why? ‘Cause I know the reality, folks. It’s all fun and games until someone rapes you; it’s all fun and games until someone tries to kill you; it’s all fun and games until a god won’t take no for an answer; it’s all fun and games until you’re stuck in the middle of a war you have no idea about; it’s all fun and games until you meet up with someone who bound your soul to them, without your permission, and they want you back.

Does all that sound exciting to you? If it does, then I have to say, you really need to have your head examined.

It isn’t a sense of wanting to be part of the Special Snowflake Club that stops these people from giving you specific instructions on how to get there. It isn’t that simple, anyway. There are any number of a hundred thousand different ways to get to the astral, for one thing. And on the other, people like the Khal, Dusken, and Devo, are trying to protect you from your own stupidity. And going to the astral is opening up a whole can of stupid worms. Lots and lots and lots of stupid motherfucking worms and you guys just need to stop thinking, “Oh, well I want to go too because it’s so shiny and everyone who goes is part of a club and I want to be in the Cool Kids Club.” Nope. No. Sorry, motherfuckers; it doesn’t work that way.

Everyone I know, on a personal level, who has been to the astral has gone over there kicking and screaming after it fucking said, “Yo, sup, bitches? It’s time to fuck up your day.”

And fuckery was had by all.

Relevant Entries

  1. Prepping For the Astral by The Rose Bell.
  2. Why Spirit-Walking Is Inherently Dangerous by Duskenpath.
  3. Astral Don’t Care by Devo.
  4. A Is For Astral by Goat-Willow.

36 thoughts on “But I Want To Go, Too!

  1. I’ve been traveling through the astral since I was young. Course when I started it was just a game, a party trick etc. But I was 8 or 9. I stopped in my teen years and only got back to going when I was older and within ritual. I know I go in my sleep on occasion, but so far I’ve been lucky. I have never had any sort of crazy experience that scared me. And I’m thankful for that. Sure I’ve had some odd ball things, but that is it. I’ve had a few things that got my hackles up but I handled it. Course I am a careful traveler.

    Now I go and I go to a specific place, do my work and come back. I suppose being older and wiser makes me more cautious and its firmly a “shields up captain” sorta thing.

    I think this is like so many things. People whine when they don’t get to know oath bound things. “You’re keeping secrets, you’re power tripping” etc gets thrown around about that. People whine when they don’t get told about Mysteries, people whine when they don’t get told about the astral. People just like to whine.

    And those who do, will just keep wondering. If people don’t want to put the effort in to figuring things out, if they don’t want to do the learning and growing, well then they will always be left out.

    • A lot of people, such as myself, suck at shielding. And I think that’s part of the reason why people like Dusken and Devo are all like, “Lolol, no don’t go.” If I didn’t have Hekate guiding me, you had better believe I wouldn’t go.

      I think what really gets me about these discussions is all the whining about “the secrets.” It’s really not a secret. I think anyone can go there if they want. My Christian friend used to as a child to escape her really horrible living situation. It’s just a matter of figuring out what works best for you. In my case, that means going through the prepping motions when Hekate shows up to jaunt about.

      • Yea, if I could figure out how to get to the astral as a 8 year old who had never read anything about it then anyone could. But laziness is part of it. Its part of the culture of “Just tell me how, no I don’t want to do the 101 or the intro or the homework”


        • It’s funny, too.

          As a newbie, “fluffy” pagan, I was pretty much like, “TELL ME IT ALL NAO.” And then I started reading and picking things up and got real-life teachers. And then that exploded and now, all I do is read and take notes and plot out how to have a really awesome practice. I think that whole “tell me” is an age thing, too, or more like an immaturity thing.

          Or just a horrible consequence of the Internet.

  2. Question for you on this, and no it’s now ‘how do I get there’. I don’t want to go there, point has been made.

    I do want to learn to meditate though, and I’ve been wondering…. would that be poking at the astral? I do not want to poke at something that’ll punch back, thank you very much. but all the stuff on meditation I see makes it seem so wonderful and useful, I don’t see any ‘dark points’ to it which is why I’m wondering about if meditation would be poking at the astral.

    • Some people use meditation to get over there, although I’ve noticed the more you head over there, the less likely you need to be in a certain frame of mind. However, I think if you’re careful regarding your meditations and utilize them for a specific purpose, calming or centering or whatever, then you’re less likely to go over there.

      I can’t meditate for shit, though.

      • I can’t meditate either, but I’ve been told by friend it’ll help possibly with some things I’ve been working on.

        Just to clarify, Guided meditations would be like poking at the astral, yes? Y’know, the kind you find in books and such?

        • Not unless the guided meditation was specifically for going to the astral. From what I’ve seen, most guided meditations have a purpose – calming, centering, etc. When it comes to free range meditation, I believe those would be more likely to take you to the astral. In a guided meditation, you’re still focused on the benefit it is providing while just meditating without a reason could send you journeying.

          • Hm. Okay, so how could one tell if the meditation was meant to send them to the astral? a lot of the ones I’ve seen involve going to meet deities or animal guides, Don’t they chill out on the astral, or would those kind of meditations be more like a paging system (Paging Dr House, Dr House to the ER please) where they come to a sort of middle ground to work with whoever’s paging them?

  3. I’m really liking the analogy of- the type of initial response you get from the astral depends on whether you show up in the burbs or the ghetto. I have met a few people who have had good experiences there, or little to no bad experiences there- I would guess they showed up in the burbs with minimal baggage. And then there are other people who arrive in the ghetto in the middle of a gang war.
    I also think it depends on how often you’re there. Dusken, L, Khal (I believe), and myself all more or less ‘live’ there. That means the astral never goes away. Things are always going on, and you have to handle them regardless of what you’re doing out here. So I think the dynamics are different btwn different people, and that can alter the amount of fuckery to be had.

    • I think a lot of it, too, depends on why you’re going over there. As I said here, I’m going there for a specific purpose. Some people just go over there to go over there. And I think that may, also, be the cause of a lot of the problems that some people face. If you’re trolling just to troll, you may end up with more than you asked for.

  4. I don’t go out of my way to mess with it. I think the city analogy is pretty apt.
    If you can’t control where you’re going, it’s like going to a random address in a city and hanging out. You might end up in a nice park or the museum district. You might find yourself in a junkyard, land in a vat in the sewage-treatment plant, or in the middle of a busy highway. Or right outside a crack house, chop shop, or fence for stolen goods. Even if you land in a suburb, you might get the place where they sic their guard dogs on you.
    Some people live in NYC or Detroit. But they’ve learned what to expect from different places, and how to behave in them.

  5. I used to be jealous of those who could go. Then I read about all the things that go on in that place and realize that staying right the frick here is nice, too.

    • I used to be jealous, too, actually. Then I got to know Dusken, L, and then watched Devo traipse on over there. Yeah, watching from afar is more than enough for me!

  6. I’ve only seen the periphery of this drama but oh my goodness I am just boggling in confusion as to why anyone would want to jump into that mire.
    Granted, I definitely did some ignorant Harner-type journeying when I was a teenager for ~self actualization~ and mystical enlightenment and I’m pretty sure I ended up in the ‘burbs (or just my own head), but I still got thrown down a rocky cliff and eaten on my first trip, and that was just to help me. After a while I stopped being able to ignore the fact that I really just wanted my Guides to validate me and being coddled was not a good use of my time. So I stopped.
    And honestly, years later? I don’t miss it.

    I like the city analogy but I also see it as deciding to swim in murky water. You might get some adorable minnows nibbling at your toes and that makes for a cute story to tell, but you might get a snapping turtle, too. Sigh.

  7. This whole thing makes me laugh because it’s all true. My mate and I are like Devo and practically live in the Astral. Even if we aren’t there, it’s here with us. We’ve seen and done some pretty cool shit, but we’ve also been witness to some pretty messed-up shit too. We’ve both woken from our travels with cuts and bruises on our physical bodies. Even if we aim for our destination or are guided, there are times where the path just says, “NO!” I love the analogies that everyone gave too. They all make a lot of sense to me. Thank you so much for posting this one.

  8. I’ve never been astral. I’ve been curious about it. Wouldn’t mind visiting Asgard and Helheim and all. But I have a spirit friend who lives there, and she’s been through some f-up shit. I forget the number of times I’ve had to help patch her up from something she’s run into, or the nights spent in worry wondering if she’s gonna come back alive. She does it because it’s her home, and she’s got a job to do. I’d go there if I needed to, but it isn’t a place for fun and games.

  9. Yeah, not too long ago I get a message from my illustrious dead saying there´s some info I can find there that may be of help to my spiritual practice. Last time my deads told me I needed to learn something, it was super important (turns out they were telling me about my mother having cancer because she was hiding it from me). HOWEVER. I might just do another reading with them just to make absolutely positively sure they want me to go there because I am in no rush to get my ass kicked, lol.

  10. my first thought was a la legally blond “what likes it’s hard” followed quickly by oh how we all want the destination without the Journey. I am sorry your friends are having to deal with rude people. :(

  11. I have noticed a great deal of my friends being interested in Astral Travel. I find it all very interesting. Like Cin, I have been traveling to the Astral since childhood, not even intentionally meaning to do so. It was only after training myself for a time that I was able to control it a bit. Now I have an astral “home” where I go and set up the filters so that I don’t have to deal with such things that I don’t want to.

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