This morning, I didn’t go to bed until after midnight. Both TH and I stayed up watching Ted and then, we ended up falling asleep shortly after doing the midnight kiss thing. I was telling him, before falling asleep, about the swathe of dreams I had been having about my ex-husband in the last few days. I told him how when our son fell asleep on me, I didn’t dream about the ex at all, but when he had gone back to his room and I was all alone, all of my dreams were ex-husband related. As I told TH, it was kind of like those stupid chase scenes in the Scooby Doo television series. We went from room to room, with the ex-husband chasing after me. Only instead of the rooms changing, the dream scape would change with each movement into a new room. It was very strange. I told TH how I was hoping that, with him at home after a week at his mother’s, the dreams would stop.
I was living in some woods, out in the middle of nowhere. The cottage I was in was very similar to the Sanderson sisters’ cottage from Hocus Pocus. It was overcrowded with instruments and necessary items for both witchcraft as well as things necessary to eke out a living. And I was working some witchcraft to keep the ex-husband away from me. I was interrupted in it and I don’t know if I ever finish it. I’m unsure what interrupted the magic making in that dream. All I know is that it went from me being a witch, doing some serious mojo on the ex, to me in my apartment bathroom. It was like I went from re-living an experience that I didn’t finish or couldn’t finish on a trip with Hekate to dreaming. Or maybe, the whole damn thing was a dream and that’s why the switch from past life experience to my apartment bathroom was as swift and smooth as it was.
I had my hair done up in pigtail braids, along either side of my face. It was me, which is odd because I don’t normally see myself in my dreams. But, I was staring at myself in the mirror. My hair was wet in these pigtail braids. And I remember very purposely, with real intent, pulling the braids out of my hair. I combed out each section with my fingers, moving from plait to plait one either side of my face. My face was stony and dark with its intent. And honestly, I’m not sure what the intent actually was. I have an idea that it was probably me moving past something. An old way of life? An old aspect of myself? A youthful disposition? I’m not sure, but I’m pretty sure it was my way of moving from one aspect of myself to another. I’m just not sure what aspects I was leaving behind to move forward into.
At this point, I woke up which is when I had my vision.
I had to use the bathroom really badly at this point so, I got up and did my business. When I came back to the couch to lay down (we still don’t have a bed), there was a child standing at the foot of the couch. It was standing in the table with the printer at the end of that part of the couch. It was staring at me while I slept.
The child had very dark brown hair. He was Caucasian with olive tones to his skin. His dark brown hair was a little too long, in need of a cut desperately as it was falling into his eyes. He was wearing a dark blue, long-sleeved shirt. His face was round and still full of baby fat. In fact, as I saw the child, I immediately thought I was seeing my son astrally project himself out to me. I thought about going into his room to check on him. Maybe he had need of me? But that feeling went away immediately after I had it because it just wasn’t the case. This child stared at me with very sad, dark eyes and then he faded away.
The kid was dead.
I don’t have any doubt of that one.
The thing is that I don’t know who the child was. I was pretty sure it was a forgotten Deadz as I went to sleep last night. I mean, I’ve been leaving out a calling card to all of the cemeteries I visit for months and months now. I kind of thought that my “powers” were just growing. Instead of just sensing them when I’m in the cemetery, I could finally begin to sense them when they came to visit me. But, now, I’m not so sure. Both Devo and I were talking about it this morning and she posited the possibility that this was a child from a past life that had somehow found me while I was in the astral, viewing all of my past lives.
Oh, well, now. That’s an interesting theory.
Most of the lives I’ve been traveling to view with Hekate have been without any children. I think she was prepping me for some very difficult work ahead and wanted me to just see all the lives I’ve been with the ex-husband sans children. As Devo pointed out to me, there’s some serious heart break into past life shenanigans when you start bringing children into the mix. Considering the one life I know of – the one where Hekate saved both myself and my son in return for three lives’ worth of servitude to her – yeah, I can only imagine just exactly how bad the lives we had together where children fell into the mix. I don’t think heart-breaking really can begin to cover it. More like epic tragedy in every sense of the word and such a tragedy that William Shakespeare would quake at writing that play/sonnet…
If that is the case and this child is a harbinger of what I can expect over the next few months… I think the whole “drained” thing I’ve been going through will double or treble in its strength. I have to wonder where this will end up. And when I can finally admit to everyone, gleefully, that it’s truly and finally over.