I have pretty much known that since my dream of Mut, other deities would be entering my life. While I couldn’t see all of the other statuary in that dream, there were too many of them for me to not realize that I had a growing kind of list of gods in my polytheistic arsenal. And honestly, I’ve been expecting a new god to come in for a while now. I’m not dumb enough to assume that I am protected by the goddess, Sekhmet, with whom I love and value above all others. The thing is that I have found myself quite comfortable, of late, in my current practice. I am full of serenity in my work with all of my OTHERS™, but I am the most pleased with the works I have been doing with my Kemetic ladies. I feel at peace and as though I’ve reached a very pleasant plateau that is fully functional. And as I’ve often said to anyone listening, our wants and desires don’t usually figure into any of this.
If you find yourself at a plateau, you can pretty much expect that shit is going to hit the fan, in some form or another.
It wouldn’t be “hard work” if stuff like that didn’t happen.
Since that dream about the Mut statue, I’ve been waiting for a push and a shove from Aset. She was particularly mentioned in that dream, as well as Mut. The exact wording was “something about having already added Aset to my slowly growing goddess collection.” So, she’s technically already been around. I’ll get to that in a minute. First, I want to admit something: in waiting for the shove from her, I’ve been bracing myself with my teeth clenched and my eyes slammed shut. I have never, once, in my entire love-of-ancient-Egypt existence wanted a relationship with her. When you talk to KO members, they mention being worried or scared of her. (I don’t really understand that, but I’m sure they have reasons.) My reasons are a lot more mundane: I’ve just never been interested in any of those associated with the Osirian mythology.
Obviously, they are important in the ancient Egyptian pantheon, but they were never a part of my Kemetic bread and butter. If you want to talk about the Memphite or Theban triads and mythologies, we’re good to go. But anything associated with Wesir and Aset – Sutekh, Anpu, Nebet-het, Heru, etc – and I’ve often been less than intrigued. I will admit that my knowledge of the Osirian mythology is based almost entirely off of things I’ve gleaned from Sutekh kids’ blogs or the basic insert tab A into slot B stuff anyone can pick up if they read a book or two about ancient Egypt. I know next to nothing about those gods because they never interested me. In this, I am a neophyte.
In a way, this worries me. I’ve become bit of a snob when it comes to Sekhmet and to some extent, Hetharu. I know a good deal more about them and their mythologies than anyone else. I’m used to being the person who people ask questions of instead of being the person who asks questions. Not to say that I won’t; I will. I’m the first person to say, “this sounds stupid but I don’t know so please tell me,” and then ask the question at hand. Case in point, just the other day, I needed clarification from Daoineile, the artist formerly known as Tiny Polytheist, about a question I had asked him regarding the fae. And I’m sure my question was stupid as well as the clarification question I asked, but I didn’t know and I don’t want to fuck shit up if I’m going to be working with the fae. So, I’ll ask questions. I’ll devour books.
Aset is here and she needs me for… something.
That’s the thing, though. I tend to figure out why the gods are in my life. I know that Sekhmet is here for other reasons. Yes, she wants me to see justice and she wants me to heal and she wants me for her very, very own, but she has PERSONAL REASONS for being in my life as well. Hetharu is here, I think, as a favor to Sekhmet but also because she was hoping to help me heal from the abuses I’ve suffered and the traumas I’ve suffered. Hekate is here because I asked her to help me with my past life and my traumas. Papa Legba is here for, well, I don’t know, but he has his own reasons as well. (I have a feeling he’s manipulating me to get something BIG but who the hell really knows with that one?) In regards to Aset, I have no idea. A part of my lack of figuring this out is because I don’t know anything about her. As far as I know, she’s the magic and mothering type. I know, literally, nothing else.
So, why is she here?
I have a few theories. I’ll toss them out so that, once I figure it out, I can laugh at how stupid I was later.
1. This could be the subtle push Hetharu has needed to leave my life. I’ve mentioned, repeatedly, that my connection with her has been… less than lately. She appreciates my efforts, but she came into my life for a very specific reason that hasn’t worked. I’ve since relegated her to a sort of formalized home pantheon. She’s the goddess of my home while Sekhmet is the goddess of my everything else. When I clean, it is for her. When I am a mother, it is for her. In a way, this has lessened my close relationship with her. And I think that she is aware that I would need a new contender for my attention in order to do what she may want, which is to fully leave. Sure, she’d still be around as part of my home pantheon and whatnot, but she wouldn’t be the lady to whom I prayed as devoutly as I do with Sekhmet.
2. She’s here to teach me about the mommy aspect. I’ve mentioned that I view Hetharu as a mother, but it is Aset, truly, who is more of a mother in the pantheon. She did a good many things on behalf of her son as well as sacrificed truly on behalf of her son. The thing is that, with my son growing older and my off-and-on working thing, I’ve often worried that I will lose out on a close relationship with my son, as I have currently. We’re very close. And I think that with her entering this phase could signify that I may need to spend more time with myself and on myself, which I don’t do, but that I can do that while also doing the mom thing. This theory isn’t quite fleshed out, but that’s as much as I can say without being given a direct feel on whether this is right or not.
3. I’ve been focusing a lot more on heka and of all the gods in the pantheon, Aset is undisputed champion of all things heka and magic. (Well, not quite. But, she’s pretty fucking good in this arena.) While my magical workings have, so far, been in league with either my voodoo leanings or Hekate, this isn’t exactly the way I want them to go. Sure, I don’t mind magic. And sure, I’d like to work more magic than I currently do. Aset would be a fantastic teacher for this. If that’s the case, then I think heka would be a large focal point from here on out. I don’t really work with heka aside from my execrations, but that’s because my rites don’t tend to be very formalized. It could be a way for things to pick up a more formal connotation than they’ve had.
That’s all I have right now. It could be all of these things; it could be none of these things. Since I don’t really know Aset, I can’t quite say.
But I do know she’s here for the long haul.