I’ve often and repeatedly referred to myself as spirit blind and gods deaf. And just because I’ve since figured out that I can actually tune in and figure out what is being said doesn’t necessarily mean that I wouldn’t like a nice, fifty-foot tall neon blinking sign that says something like, Satsekhem, get your head out of your ass or what the hell is the matter with you? More often than not, figuring out the messages they’re sending me is about as difficult as trying to win a puzzle competition with your eyes closed. I hear what they’re trying to say, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s going to sink in or even remotely register. I may be intelligent, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have my dumb as a post moments, which actually happen a lot. (Especially in this heat.) So, more often than not, I’m in full-fledged Kermit flail, wondering where the fuck my gods are up to because I haven’t “heard” from them lately. When in fact, the truth is, I’ve been hearing a resounding fucking message for months and months, but you know, I have to be hit with a clue-by-four to actually figure that out.
So, actually about a few months back, I think it was Devo who mentioned that I should try utilizing the Anubis Oracle Deck. I can’t remember what the recommendation was initially for, but I remember thinking how strange it was that she chose to tell me about a deck that I already own. I’ve owned this deck for a while. Actually, it was given to me by the EM all those many years ago and aside from playing with it twice and studying the box as I’ve shuffled it from resting place to resting place, I haven’t given it much thought. I felt that the cards were too esoteric for me to use and so, it was just an addition to my ancient Egyptian derived divination systems collection. (No, there’s really a collection. My next purchase shall be some sort of scarab oracle divination system.) I shrugged off her response and left it at that. If I didn’t like them when I was playing with them after I first received them, what the hell good would they do me now, right? Right.
So, a while goes by and she recommends that I use this divination deck again. I can’t really recall what this particular recommendation was for, either, but I shrugged it off again. And for the exact same reason as the first time: I didn’t really like them because of how esoteric they are and blah, blah, blah. Then, it was recommended by her YET AGAIN a short while back for something else. I just kind of shook my head and made some noise about maybe. Then, it was recommended by about three other people in the Island of Misfit Pagans. And still, there was not a single fucking inkling that this was some weird shit. Apparently, there’s a website that has the full oracle deck out there for people to use so, it didn’t seem strange to me that they were all recommending this shit. It was just a kind of, “Hee-haw. That’s funny.”
I believe it was two days ago or maybe three that it was recommended to me again by numerous members from the Island of Misfit Pagans FB group. I began to scratch my head mightily at that moment, but I shrugged it off again. Sure, it was still pretty amusing. “Hee-haw. They’re all doing it again. Hee-haw.” But then I got smacked in the face with a clue-by-four when Bastemhet wrote about her interactions with her new Anubis Oracle Deck. The only reason I finally figured out the message was because I had that dawning epiphany look that I get that makes me look like I’m having a bowl movement coupled with a sharp-shooting pain in my head and then, her liberal use of the words “clue-by-four” followed by an internal crack of thunder in my head.
I get it now. I should probably use this deck.
And what really got to me was while I was reading her post, she pulled the Sekhmet card. She mentioned that she had no real association with the goddess in question (no more spoilers, damnit, read her awesomeness). And I was going to comment about what kind of goddess Sekhmet is because she happened to talk about it. (DAMNIT. No more spoilers now.) And that’s when I got the funny look on my face and just about shit myself with how dumb I really am on a variety of occasions. Sekhmet wanted me to use the cards to communicate with her.
You see, I had decided to use the Pyramid Oracle because it’s my oldest deck and really, it’s the first deck I thought of when I decided to try and communicate with my goddess via a divination system. Sure, there was the pendulum possibility and I have about a thousand fucking decks. (Not really, but still.) For whatever reason, my mind went to my first deck ever, but I think that’s mostly because I’m extremely nostalgic for those cards. There are fun times and tears in those cards that I remember fondly, to this day. It’s where I learned about having lived in ancient Egypt in my past and having killed my ex-husband in my past. (Both very fond memories.) Those cards are where I honed my skill set in the divination arena. Those cards are my babies. And while I still do miss my mini-Rider Waite deck that my ex-husband tossed out on me, the Pyramid Oracle was my first step to independence with him. (If this deck goes missing like all the rest, I will destroy your limited edition, leather-bound The Lord of the Rings trilogy in recompense.) So, really, my first thought to use that particular deck had more to do with what I wanted as opposed to what she wanted.
Never. Ever. Again.
I got the message and while my ears are still ringing from the blow, I’m willing to listen now. At least for a while.