When the lady who is awesome did my past-life oracular session for me, she actually gave me a two-for. The first one was more like a soul retrieval and I’m going to get into what she saw, followed by the actual life in question. I already discussed the second past life shenans that she found out for me, but the first has been something that I’ve found myself having a hard time to digest. It isn’t because I don’t believe it because I do. If my soul belongs anywhere or fractured at any point, ancient Egypt was the place. The thing is that I know the history of this particular person and in my post about past life stuff, I did mention that I have a hard time believing most people who talk about being “famous Deadz” and whatnot. But the thing is that… yeah, I believe this. I believe it wholly and truly and that’s the part that gets to me.
The first thing that she did for me was a soul retrieval. I apparently, at some point, fractured my soul. I’m not really sure how this happens, to be sure, but I can definitely say that it makes sense. If anyone was going to have a piece of me, it would be ancient Egypt, as I said. To say that I’m obsessed with that time period is an understatement. Really, when I came into paganism, Kemetism was the only choice for me. When I entered the coven between myself, the EM, and the Sister, I made it quite clear that I wasn’t overly interested in other gods – though I looked into them when I got jealous and whatnot – or other pantheons. I belonged in ancient Egypt. And while one night, I fucked around with my Tarot cards with the Sister, the cards were pretty much, “YOU ARE IN ANCIENT EGYPT. IT IS YOU.” And I’m like, well that makes sense. Now it makes a lot more sense since I, evidently, left a piece of myself there at some point in the past. It was given in truth to Anpu and he held it until it was time for it to be unified by K. However, when she went to leave after the retrieval, he laughed in her face and said, “Oh, no. There’s more.” And K was all like, “WUT.” He just started smiling and said, “You don’t have to give it back to her because she’s down here still.” That’s when he procured a boat for passage for the two of them.
They traveled down a canal into a cave where all of these giant statues were. Anpu called the area the Garden of Lost Gods. He explained it as the resting place of all the gods who had been forgotten or who had fallen out of worship. K mentioned that many of them seemed more like pharaohs than anything else and this makes a lot of sense. The ancient pharaohs were seen as the living embodiment of a god on earth, specifically of Re or Amun or whichever creator was in power at that particular point. A specific ceremony was held to make that pharaoh achieve their godhood before they could take over. And no one worships that pharaohs any longer. The statue that Anpu stopped the boat at was a giant woman with a false beard attached to her chin. (There are precious few woman pharaohs of ancient Egypt and only one that I can recall correctly who wore the false beard to legitimate her claim to the throne: Hatshepsut.) At the statue, K said some chants about her living again and then gave the soul piece of mine to the statue itself. The eyes glowed and almost breathed. Then, she stepped through two doors over the heart.
She was in a cave. She walked inside when she was stopped by a woman with straight blonde hair and odd ears. The woman in question demanded to know what the hell K was doing in there. So, K explained that she was just returning what had once been lost and what was now owed. She accepted this statement and ordered K to just go about her business, but she wasn’t allowed to check things out afterwards. K explained that this appears to be a guardian or ward that I set up to keep human intruders out of my special spot. The guardian referred to herself as “She.” I’m a little interesting and when I first read this section of the E-mail, I couldn’t help but think about the god, Shai. Now, this particular god is a male, although ancient Egyptian deities’ real forms are completely unknown to us and I don’t see why a god that ascribes to a male gender can’t possibly be a female if they so desire. But, I don’t think this was a god but a gift from said god to aid me in warding my place. I’ll have to try and figure her spot out and what her deal is.
As K mentioned, I should definitely look into this. (Though, I do have to wonder the eternal question of “how” in that…)
So, with the remains of the soul piece in hand, K began trekking through the desert. She ended up at an old school Egyptian temple. Within, there were three seated gods. Heru on the left, Sekhmet to the right, and Sutekh in the center. It was at this point that K began to get a funny feeling about who I may have been in this particular life. She told the three statues that she needed their child’s soul back because she had to reinstall it. Energies emerged from the seated gods to coalesce and create a new soul piece for me, in varying colors: blue, black, and gold. K says that’s when she knew the soul retrieval took because the place “began to breathe again.” That’s when the journey was over.
All in all, there is a lot of stuff for me to pursue and think about. Who is this guardian of my inner temple? Can I use her as a guide or is she specifically there to keep me safe? Was she a gift from the god, Shai, or am I grasping at straws? And why did K have to walk through Hatshepsut to get to me?
It would appear that I’m related to her somehow. As K mentioned, it seemed a little odd that the gods in the temple she went to were Sekhmet, who has been my goddess for a very long time. This is born out in the fact that she puts up with my bullshit, to this day. This is also born out by the fact that I have always felt that she was there when Khnum was busy crafting me up. But the Sutekh and Heru connection… What does that have to do with any of this? As K pointed out, it was those two particular gods who held dominion over the Upper and Lower portions of Egypt prior to their unification. This denotes to me that there’s something to do with royalty here, and K agrees with this. And that’s when I went back to Hatshepsut. Of all the kids that she could have had and didn’t, she only gave birth to a single daughter… Neferure. She has since been forgotten and that saddens me. It always has whenever I read of the children or wives that have been forgotten in time and we must try and reconstruct who they are, but this story… her tale… we know nothing of it and it saddens me.
I’m beginning to believe that both Neferure and Hatshepsut belong on my shrine to the Deadz…