How many people are sick to death about hearing “the end is nigh”? How many people are sick to death of having to reform their ways because Judgment is coming? Doesn’t it get a bit old to have to sit in fear of a time that you never know whether or not it will show up, never mind when? Doesn’t it get a bit old to have to hold yourself in perfect for the entirety of your life? You know, I just can’t blame you. Sitting around in everlasting fear of a torment that could happen because you may have sinned once… It’s just not appealing. Well. I’ve got a deal for you!
In Kemetism, we judge you the second you die! And you know what, there’s easy ways to get around it. We’ve got spells for sale, guide books, and all manner of things to get you passed the horrific horror of getting judged by beings that could smite you just by looking at you! Why wait for who knows how much longer for the Nameless One to come on down and smite everything when you could just as easily have that done too? All you have to do is sin, sin, sin, and never once repent! Yeah, you’re soul is lost for all eternity, but in the mean time, you get to do whatever the fuck you want, whenever the fuck you want*! Why sit in mortal fear of your immortal soul when you could just as easily learn the proper spells and even, possibly, find out that the judging you did to yourself isn’t accurate at all! Can you imagine how thrilling it would be to find out that, over all, you were a pretty good person even though you did all that whoring, pillaging, and earth-salting that got you in trouble all the time?
If this is what you’re looking for, COME ON DOWN.
After all, Kemetism. It’s the greatest religion in the world.
* Kemetism is not responsible for any illegal activities that may be taken on by the person in question. And unfortunately, future judging aside, there’s nothing Kemetism can do to stop a person from going to jail should that person break the law.