I’ve been thinking a bit the last day or two about my feeling that my “god-phone” is pretty much non-existent. I’ve detailed in posts about how I’ve always been completely jealous of the people who can talk to their gods on a regular basis. And after a lot of thought, I’ve come to the realization that I am completely and utterly full of bullshit. I don’t know when it started to become more and more often that my god-phone was turned to “on” and I actually began listening. I do recall that someone once told me that in working with the lwa that particular phone will be turned on louder and it will be harder to filter them out, whether I want to or not. And I’ve come to the conclusion that, whilst working the lwa is a part of it, I think my god-phone was always turned on in some sense, but that I was so fucking retarded about it that I wasn’t really paying attention. I was expecting things to be big and expansive and I was so focused on being spirit-blind that I just assumed it was all rolled into a ball with the whole god-phone thing.
Wow. I’m just stupid.
I was so intent on my god-phone being something that was bigger, badder, and better than what I was actually experiencing. I read about all of these people who have visions and can do astral travel and all of this stuff. I don’t do a lot of that stuff (obviously), but that’s not what a god-phone is about. It’s about the UPG and it’s about the gut instinct, but it’s also about being open and willing to listen. This has been proven to me, time and time again, when it comes to the Old Man. There he is with his laughter and his jokes and his eye roll. If that isn’t communicating with someone on a higher plane of existence then I guess I’m a schizophrenic. But, it’s also the sudden desire to look at my altar and stare at the image of Sekhmet or Hetharu. It’s also about needing to light a cone of incense, not for myself or for them, but other people. And it’s about other people’s gods coming on down and tapping me on the shoulder in an effort to get their attention. I think it’s at this moment, with that pretty much happening right now, that I realized the god-phone was on. I just wasn’t expecting it to be so simple.
You see, the Sister’s gods… they come to me. It’s kind of ironic, considering that it was the complete opposite some time back. My gods would turn to her with a big, heaving sigh and ask her to fill me in on stuff. And I would just kind of be like, “Yeah, right. If it’s so important, why aren’t you saying this stuff to me?” Well, maybe they were and I wasn’t paying attention because I thought a god-phone was bigger than it really was. Or, maybe I was so stuck on the spirit-blind thing that I was obsessed with being completely unable to hear my gods… and so therefore, made it happen. You know what I’m talking about…? That stuff about self-fulfilling prophecies? Yeah. I had that going on. But, it’s now that I’ve been walking down this road a long time and the Old Man made things simpler for me. He made me realize that my phone’s been on and it’s been ringing this whole time. I’ve just been a fool for not listening.
So, now, the Sister’s gods are coming to me more and more often. Her god-phone is wrapped up in going through whatever it is she has to go through right now. (There’s a lot, too, so I can understand the whole turning it off thing.) So, it’s to me that the gods turn because I’m nearby, I know how to get through to her, and I know just what to say. But, what I never expected was that they would honestly fucking appear to me. I figured it would be a tap from Hermes for wine or something. I figured it would be Aphrodite in a huff about wanting chocolate and more incense. I never actually thought I would see anybody else’s gods aside from my own. But, things are out of whack now. I’m seeing gods that aren’t mine and don’t want my service. (Thank the gods on that one because I don’t know if I could handle the Greek gods as easily as the Sister does and other people whom I read who are connected to them. I’m enjoying my easy, laid back gods, thank you!) I’m talking with them about things. I’m hearing them order me around on behalf of the Sister because she’s too tied up to see what it is they want and desire.
I am an instrument for them to use because my god-phone is open.
It’s kind of heady and exciting to realize that my god-phone is open and has been. For so long I just figured I was crazy. I mean, yes. I had the moments when I felt something real and important was going on. I had the moments where I was like, “Wow. This is so fucking real. I don’t even.” I had those moments, but they were completely overshadowed by the fact that I was trying so hard to tread water that I didn’t realize I was wearing a flotation device to begin with. I was obsessing over the minute, when the big picture was what was the most important. And to be perfectly frank, I was so stuck on the idea that the god-phone was some super iPhone of sorts that people used to communicate with their gods. And it’s more than just coincidences and beliefs and hearing voices or headaches or any of that. It’s all of that, but it’s more than that, too. Again, I was so focused on the miniscule aspects that I was forgetting that I was really busy painting a portrait.
And you know what? It is these types of realizations that make this whole path… well, it makes it that much sweeter.