The above is a modified quote from Jack Kerouac.
Last night, I dreamed about gods. I can count on one hand how often that has happened to me. When gods communicate me, it is never through the acts of dreaming. And while I cannot say, for sure, if any god was trying to contact me, it doesn’t matter. I just don’t dream about gods in any context. I have vision-quests, I suppose you could say, in regards to the ones I have now. But, in the entire time that I’ve been walking down this turnpike of mine, I have never dreamed about gods. So, this is an interesting addition to my slowly growing repertoire of intuition based practice. I know that this dream is more than, merely, a simple form of my mind trying to de-stress or whatever it is that they’ve decided dreams are nowadays. My gut reaction is that it is important and as Devo is so often reminding me, if my gut says it must be so, then I should really pay attention to that. So, here I am, listening to my gut.
The dream in and of itself is fairly hazy. I tend to find this is true of dreams that I have later in the night, toward morning. It actually happened not all that long before I woke up the first time (and decided being awake wasn’t necessary at eight-thirty in the morning). I can distinctly remember being in a dark room, surrounded by gold. It was glittering everywhere. There were wavy, see-through curtains blowing in the window around a large window or doorway. Those curtains were a dark color and accentuated the gold all around the room. In the middle of the room was a cabinet or table that held statuary. It was covered in golden statuary. I remember going over and picking up a wooden, ungilt piece. It was a woman’s body with the head of a large cat*. “Mut,” I said to it. Or, someone else said it for me. On that, I’m not quite sure. I looked to the cabinet with all of the statuary there. And someone said something about having already added Aset to my slowly growing goddess collection. And I remember thinking or saying that I wanted to add Mut to that collection, as well, because I’ve always had a thing for her. There were some more distinct conversation about it, but I can remember staring down at this wooden idol and thinking that it was time to add her, too.
That’s when I woke up.
So. Really. Interesting.
The thing is that in trying to really recall this table or cabinet that the gilt statues were standing upon, I remember more statues than just Sekhmet, Hetharu, and Aset. There were indeed a good decent handful of goddesses there, but they were indistinct. I couldn’t quite focus on the statues because I wasn’t meant to – that much is obvious. I was meant to focus on Mut. And the conversation was meant to remind me that just because I’m only beginning to think (and freak out) about adding Aset to my arsenal of goddesses doesn’t mean that I haven’t already. I should really sit back and remember before I started writing TEHNOVEL™ and the research I did into the mothering woman of the later dynasties. I should really sit back and remember that. But, while Aset may already be counted among my goddesses, Mut is not yet there. She was lying in my hands, a wooden statue of consummate craftsmanship. It was cracked and old. It had seen much. Hm. I wonder what the symbolism behind that particular aspect is: all the others were golden and she was of wood?
But, really, I think that’s something I may need some time to think about. Right now, it’s time to start thinking about adding Mut to my goddess collection. (I do find it interesting that I have a goddess collection according to the dream. And seriously? Who the hell were the others…?) It’s really not surprising as I reflect on it now. I’ve always had a thing for Mut, for mothering deities really. I think it’s because it’s an aspect of myself that’s deeply buried. It’s only been in recent weeks that I’ve watched myself become kinder (and not just because of the living in ma’at thing, either) and more able to take care of my family without freaking out about it or thinking darkly about woman’s rights or some such bullshit. So, evidently, some work is being done and I just haven’t realized it until this moment. (Who to thank for that one, I wonder…?) But, Mut has always had a special place in my heart for some reason. I have no particular basis for where this has come from but the more I learn about her or read about her in some form or context, the more I want to know.
Maybe this is because I had initially chosen her as my main character’s basis in TEHNOVEL™. Since I didn’t end up going with that aspect (I couldn’t find a name that would sound something akin to what we have now that would infer her Mut relationship. That was the sole reason for that, actually…), it’s coming back now for work to be finished in the researching? I’m not sure. That feels like there’s an aspect there that I’ll have to poke and prod at, but it’s not complete. All I do know is that I have a lot of research to do. And in the mean time, I should probably start trying to get a grasp on these various goddess relationships that I, evidently, have.
I wonder who else was there…
* I know that Mut is often depicted as a woman with a vulture’s headdress on her head, or as a vulture in some form or context. However, my mind chose what I had seen as her representation because of Michelle Moran’s Nefertiti novel. The statuary for the goddess, Mut, is depicted as it was shown in my dream in that book.