Chocolate Doesn’t Even Begin to Cover This.

I had my first non-friend related Tarot client today. (SQUEE!!!!) I pulled the cards out and did a pretty basic reading for the woman in question. Afterward, I felt it was required that I do one for myself. If I don’t have clients, I’m less likely to pull them out even for myself. So, with that in the back of my mind, I did a spread for myself.

Me 4/4/2012, Uploaded from the Photobucket Android App
The Devil, the Hanged Man R,
The Fool R, the 3 of Swords,
the Ace of Wands R.

This reading really makes me feel like crap. In fact, it makes me feel like so much shit that I just want to eat a lot of chocolate. I’ve decimated my chocolate stash already because of this damned thing. (Not that it was much of a stash since I kept going over to it since I brought it home this evening.) But to be honest, this makes me feel like I’ve been making all of this exciting, new, and enigmatic progress in the name of my religion, but it hasn’t done a fucking thing to aid me in progressing forward. Obviously, I could be interpreting this whole thing incorrectly and thinking that the things holding me back aren’t actually what I think them to be (the fact that I was fired for horse shit and I feel like no one would possibly hire me again). But it feels like this is a job-related Tarot card reading. And I’m so upset that I haven’t gotten as far as I’ve thought that I have.

This is shit.

This is shit.

I need more chocolate.

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12 thoughts on “Chocolate Doesn’t Even Begin to Cover This.

    • The devil represents feeling trapped in an oppressive situation with negative thinking hampering my life. It also represents a basic hopelessness and that I feel like I’m unable to change, which is stifling growth. The hanged man says I’m being untrue to myself and that I should reset my priorities/rediscover direction in my life. The fool says I’m feeling like I’m at the edge of a cliff and ready to topple over it. Also shows that the current situation that I’m in is causing fear of the unknown as well as fear in the future and what that may bring. Three of swords is all about how I need to let go of a situation that continues to bring my anguish. And the ace of wands tells me that I’m feeling frustrated, impotent, powerless to accomplish my goals.

      On the one hand, I’m like. Shit, yeah. That really does kind of incorporate everything I feel in regards to having been fired and all that jazz. On the other hand, I’m like, well… Isn’t all this forward progress with my religious practice making things slightly better? In a way, I guess, it is. I’m feeling like a better person and slowly becoming more and more aware of living in ma’at. But, I think it’s getting me in broad concepts as opposed to a more narrower following, such as figuring out what to do about the joblessness. I can’t live off of unemployment forever, though I’d love to. Heh.

      • Perhaps this reading has nothing to do with your spirituality. Maybe it’s telling you not to lose sight of a bigger picture. Making progress in spirituality is great, but there are other parts of your life that you can’t just ignore. That’s not such a bad thing, really. It’s not like they’re screaming YOU SUCK. They’re just reminding you to pay attn, imo. I’m sure you’ll figure it out.

        • And I have been ignoring those other parts for spiritual clarity lately…

          I’m going to do another reading tonight after a huge cleansing and a change-out of the quartz crystal I keep in my box with my cards. Hopefully, SqueakerxMim is right and that all I need is a cleansing.

  1. I have a question for you, when was the last time you gave yourself a good cleansing? There’s something about this reading that just does not sit right with me. Sometimes when we have so much negative energy around us we attract negative spirits that can interfere with our readings. (I know this from first hand experience.) Also prior to this you did a reading for a client, right? Sometimes if we do not protect ourselves prior or cleanse ourselves after reading others whatever negative spirits or energies can attach themselves to us.
    If you want to forget about all that and look at the cards from another stand point, your paths are crossed and you are stagnant right now (and with the devil being there, I would not over look the possibility of someone “crossing” you) and you might want to look in to road opening baths and offerings. Your buddy Papa Legba is good for that. :3
    Or you can always just add more chocolate.
    *hugs* I’m pulling for you kiddo! :3

    • It’s been a while. I usually just put them back into order while wiping them off. But, it’s been a while since I actually did that form of cleansing. I was mostly relying on my quartz before I did those two readings. So, it is possible that I was getting the wrong message. I’ll check it out tonight after doing a serious cleansing since a friend of mine has asked for readings today.

      If I get a similar reading tonight, I’ll head down to the crossroads nears my house with pennies and coconut for the Old Man.

  2. I say, “Do not fret or panic,” over this reading. It’s really not as bad as you would think, but that’s only because I believe tarot readings are “set in sand,” and are giving you only a snapshot of the moment. Figure out what they’re trying to tell you, and do your best to change whatever it’s pointing out — that’s the best way to approach spreads like these, imo. :) (And realize that you’re human, too! You *are* making progress, though the cards are only guides to help you make even more progress in different ways; which sometimes, as humans with biased perspectives, we don’t always see!)

    If you don’t mind, this is my take on the spread. The general feeling I received from the reading is that, through the Devil, you are giving into other temptations that you don’t need to be. What comes to mind are distractions; there are important things that you need to be doing, but you are continually allowing distractions to take over that aspect of your life. Though you *are* studying spiritually and making these great endeavors…are there *other* things you’re supposed to be focusing on for a more stable life?

    The Hanged Man and the Fool both upside down are interesting indeed. In my classes, I was taught that, when reversed, they both mean the other; however, in this reading, that is certainly not the case. The Hanged Man reversed to me tells me that you are fighting the change the Universe is trying to bring, which can be linked with the Devil card. Perhaps unwittingly, since you are giving in to certain distractions, you are resisting the blessings which the Universe wants to give, rather than letting them come to you. The Fool tells me that you are going into situations without really thinking, and the “naivete” of the Fool is getting the best of you. It’s not that you’re toppling over the cliff yet — just keep an eye out and watch out. There is obviously something you’re distracting yourself from, and if you continue, then you just *might* fall off the cliff. Pay attention to what you really need right now, and do your best to fulfill it, even if it’s painful.

    The Three of Swords tells me there is a necessary pain of release you need to feel, though I feel it’s temporary. Perhaps what you are distracting yourself from is this pain? Maybe it’s not as bad as you think it is, but because you see it as “scary,” you are avoiding it? It’s not unheard of, since, as humans, we tend to avoid discomfort without knowing (sometimes even consciously.) Whatever responsibilities that the Devil is referring to is going to cause this pain, hence why you are so set on clinging to the “temptations” of the Devil.

    The Ace of Wands tells me that you are logically making reasons to put off this pain and the necessities you are fighting off. Though the spiritual progress is great and wonderful, what is it really that you need to do in order to make yourself feel better/become stable? I say consult your deities — “What is it that I *really* need to do to make the necessary progress the Universe and the Gods require?” I suggest their way would probably make you the happiest.

    However, I understand I’m just a random commenter and no one you’ve ever spoken to before, so this is just my own two cents. :D If you do the purification and get different results, awesome. But if not, I suggest you really pay attention to what you *need* at this time, rather than want. Remember, wants and needs don’t always necessarily add up.

    Many blessings, dear. I hope this helped in some way.

  3. May I add…??

    Reading for yourself is difficult bordering on dangerous. It’s about as easy as psychoanalyzing yourself. There’s a tendency to see what you want/fear to see…

    So take a deep breath.

    Clean off those cards. Do the cleansing for yourself, do the offering at the crossroads if you feel the need…and if you can, find someone you trust to read *for* you.

    I seldom read for myself. I usually have Mousie do it. If I do read for myself, I write it all out so I can look at it more objectively…then I run screaming to Mousie if necessary! :-)

    • I usually have the Sister do readings for me, actually. However, I’ve known that I have been able to (in past) get clear readings for myself. Unfortunately, it’s been so long since I’ve picked them up, either for clients or otherwise, that I’m getting rusty. I really need to give myself more time, daily, with my cards but just because I know I should doesn’t mean I do.

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