First, I’d like to say that I really appreciate everyone who weighed in on my post where I asked for advice. It’s beyond appreciated. I felt like I was flailing about in the dark, wandering around after my candle had blown out without the chance to re-light. In reality, I wasn’t going to write this post, but I got the hint. (I sat down to work on some of the other ideas in my head yesterday and ended up so exhausted that I thought I was going to fall asleep on my laptop!) So, with all of that going on, I’ve decided that a follow up and a game plan is what’s needed next.
The overall consensus appears to be that the Sister isn’t ready to sever the connection and that the reason the heart keeps coming back is a reflection of this. I mentioned this to her in passing and she kind of did a “maybe” head shake. I think it’s more than a “maybe.” The relationship between her and Demon Boy was something that she always thought of as “epic.” It was like a fairy tale because he got her and she got him. There wasn’t a happily ever after, though, and that’s the rub. There’s the part that gets to her. So, when I mentioned that maybe she wasn’t really ready to give up on him yet, she said it was possible, but not in the way that said it was a definite.
Another common bit of advice is that this is something she needs to do. I’ve known this all along. The reason that the heart came to me is because I’ve been able to sever that connection with Demon Boy without any lasting effects. Of course, my relationship with him was nowhere near on a par as with hers but she sees that I’ve been able to walk away and have been for some time without worrying or going back, like she has. However, the real reason behind this stems from a mutual conversation the Sister, myself, and OF had a while back before OF went offline. In it, OF said that there was no way the Sister could do this; she was too weak. And that’s the problem because she’ isn’t too weak to do this. She believes that she is but she’s not. If she can break off a years’ long friendship with the EM without so much as a glance backward, then I think she’s strong enough to handle severing the tie with Demon Boy. Sure, she may still want him in some way, but she managed to walk away and remove all forms of communication with him; why not go the added step?
I think OF got the message wrong, especially if she was looking toward the future. I think the message was that I needed to help and hold her hand and give her some added confidence boost. I think the message is that I can walk beside her, but I can’t do much more than be a one-person cheer leading team for her.
And you know, when OF first mentioned that Demon Boy was going to come back, she had the Sister work on the physical wards of the house. Salt was placed at each doorway in and out of her house. There was talk of similar with the windows. But the focus, I believe, was incorrect. It should have been on the Sister and her heart, her soul, as opposed to what as going on around her.
Coupled with the above, a major issue is that the focus is too heavy on the material. The connection between the two of them is semi-embodied in the existence of the stone. It is, after all, a pink quartz heart. And what says love better than that? However, the image in her mind is that the embodiment is complete and that the heart is everything that Demon Boy and she once were together. I get the feeling that this image is incorrect, if not entirely then at least in part. And while I do agree that looking at it, even I can see glimpses of the two of them together, it’s not the full Monty, so to speak. It’s only the tangible reminder that can easily be forgotten, like it was prior to it being found. The connection is metaphysical and spiritual and emotional, but the physical is gone. And has been for a very long time. So, I think that she believes that the destruction of the thing will lead to the destruction of it all. And from the helpful advice I’ve been given as well as my own thoughts on the matter, this just isn’t the case.
I talked to her, briefly, about some of the more meditation-related exercises that were mentioned in my post. I mentioned the chakra alignment and I mentioned the shadow work. The next time that I see her, I’ll talk to her about the recapitulation method that Corvidae mentioned. I think that would be the best at this stage in the game and something she can do easily. If and when I get extra funds, I think I’m going to set up an appointment with a local Reiki master for her. (It’s so expensive, though!) And tell her to ask the master for any problems therein, connections or holes or what have you, that may be there without her knowledge.
So, my decision, thus far, is this: I plan on going to a beach right down the street from me. It has ties to my childhood and the Sister’s as well. I plan on getting a decent container of sand. In Kemetic practice, sand is purifying. (Also, at the mention of this, Sekhmet is raising her head and saying, “Sand? Maybe I want some, too.”) I’m going to shove the pink heart in that container and toss it into my freezer. (Freeze the connection? Freeze the evil? That’s where my mind is with this.) I’m going to leave it there until the Sister is ready to either re-program it herself or make a final decision on what to do with the damn thing. And while, right now, breaking it is her primary idea, I’m going to wait until her impulses are less emotional and more rational.
And let’s not be surprised if her more rational idea is to give it back to Aphrodite… in the ocean. (I think that’s why this was also a popular suggestion. The UPG of the Sister’s Aphrodite is heavily influenced by her oceanic rise.)
In conclusion, I really cannot possibly convey how greatly appreciated every ounce of advice that was given my way. It also makes me a little giddy, the amount of comments I got about it. It’s like, “Wow. People are reading my blog and want to help!” Heh. The Sister, also, thanks every single one of you for your assistance with this issue. And I’ll be sure to update periodically on her progress.