I Need Some Advice, Please.

I’m putting this forth to the myriad of followers I have, as well as anyone who stops by. I’m kind of at a loss and need to figure it out.

Back story!
So, the Sister was in a pretty toxic relationship until recently. And when I say that the relationship was toxic, I’m not really exaggerating. The two of them together were just not made for each other. Case in point, we refer to the guy in question as Demon Boy and I’m 95% positive that he’s a psychic vampire in the worst possible sense. He’s got this whole aura thing that draws negativity toward him like a moth to a flame. There was this, like, energy nexus in their shared living room that left anyone in the house unable to do anything but think about taking a nap and I think it was due to this “dabbling.” Anyway, neither here nor there. Let’s move on.

It’s been a long, long, long, long, long five or six years (seven?) in dealing with the detrimental connection the two of them have with one another. The Sister has been very good about severing all ties with him, but he has this way about him that draws her back in. I’ve been holding her hand and yelling at her and informing her and holding her hand and threatening Demon Boy and anything I can think of to sever the connection between them. She’s finally at the point where everything she had that reminded her of him is gone from her home and her life. And he has effectively disappeared from her life: no more calls, no more dreams, no more black link between the two. (What I mean by the is that, accidentally, we stumbled upon an actual psychic connection between the two of them, still, some time back. We’ve been trying to cut the cord ever since.) So, he’s been gone and all of his things, too.

Except that she recently found the pink quartz heart he gave her for Valentine’s Day once after swearing up and down, ten ways to Sunday, that she had rid herself of said heart. It’s currently in a heart shaped box (I laughed when she told me this, hysterically, as I sang Nirvana lyrics at her), waiting for me to get my hands on it. She dumped salt all over it to deter any negative energy that Demon Boy may still have in connection with it or whatever. This is about as far as we’ve gone with it because I don’t know what to do.

I strongly believe that the guy has a hold on her and considering how many times we’ve thrown the heart away, left it behind, and tossed it out with the trash… It just keeps coming back like that cat. But, I don’t know how to destroy whatever the fuck he’s done to it. I don’t know how to fix this. I know that salt will dampen or deter or whatever negative energy. I’m worried about smashing it with a hammer (though I so-so-so want to) because of any negative backlash that may happen. I’ve considered burying it, although I’m not really sure where to do that (cemetery? backyard? by a river? in the woods?) and so, I pose the question to you guys.

What the fuck do I do with this thing? How do I get rid of it without bringing backlash to The Sister? And seriously, can I hammer it to death? I so will.

21 thoughts on “I Need Some Advice, Please.

  1. My first thought on this was “throw it in the ocean”–even before you got to the part about the salt. Dunno if you live close enough to the shore for this to be an easy thing, but it’s something to consider, at least. (And, obviously, ask permission from the sea Gods first before you go chucking creepy shit at ’em willy-nilly. :P)

  2. Hammering to death would be my suggestion, seriously. Put it in a back before you do it if you’re worried about hurting yourself on the shards. Then bury the shards well away from where you live or throw them in a large body of water if you have one.

  3. If the bond is that strong, breaking the stone or throwing it in the ocean is only going to handle the problem of where the stone is–not the curse attached to it. (IMO anyway. I’m no expert.) It sounds like your sister needs to do some hardcore shadow work to eliminate this bro entirely. Maybe his astral self is following her and just anchoring itself into the stone (throw it in the ocean, it will just anchor onto something else.) She needs to “find” the link within herself, sever it, and then give the stone a new “mode”.

    What I mean by this is by the time she cuts the link herself from whatever is left of this demon bro lingering, the stone itself will be rendered useless to his cause–it will just be a vessel of the negativity. From there, she needs to give the stone a new purpose, a new path.

    For example, when I had a demon bro of a boyfriend myself, I had the exact same problem, with multiple items. The extensive astral and shadow work helped, and then I reconciled with the objects and gave them new homes/purposes in other people’s lives. (cleared and gave his clothes to needy, cleansed the jewelry and handed it out to homeless people on the street to sell or use for whatever they want). By giving the objects a new path of their own that had a better purpose–the bad energy gets cast away, and the connection has nothing left to hold on to.

    Again, I’m no expert, but in my experiences breaking things, throwing them away, and salting does absolutely nothing for a case like this.Hope this was of some help!

    Seriously, best of luck. Demon ex’s are nasty nasty business. Tasty nom noms for the demon devourers though.

      • My partner did a pretty comprehensive guide on shadow work ( http://duskenpath.blogspot.com/2012/02/late-musings-monday-on-shadow-work.html ), aside from that I agree with corvidae about getting a shaman (shadow work is their strong suit). Honestly, a lot of it is just finding a space to think and being honest with yourself (or in this case, it would be your sister being honest with herself).

        In some deeper way, she’s still holding on to him. Maybe she’s holding on to better memories, or holding on to the need to have someone there to fill that void he left, or even perhaps an addiction to his negativity energy that causes withdrawal symptoms of the soul. It could be something obvious, or something completely mundane or seemingly irrelevant. She’ll need to really dig within herself to find out what it is. Then, like grieving periods, she’ll need to reconcile with that bond, and find the will to break it. (Determining for herself she doesn’t need whatever is left of him).

        Start simple and then dig deeper and deeper. ex: “I don’t miss him. I don’t miss him but I miss having someone around. I miss having someone around because I truly desire companionship. I don’t like living without a companion/don’t know how to after dating for so long…….My strong desire for a companion keeps me clinging on to this small remnant of a relationship, and unconsciously I want what we had just not with him…….” and so on and so forth until you reach the conclusion of what you really want and his relevance to that. This was a really watered down example but I hope it makes sense! :)

        Shadow work is largely psychological and emotional. You don’t have to be super spiritually aware or anything to do it: just an open mind, honesty, and sometimes I feel writing helps too to the process going. Pretend she’s writing to the one person she trusts the most in the world that she can tell anything—eventually everything spills out and she’ll find her heart on the ground, pick it up, dust it off, and put it back in it’s proper place without him.

        Sorry for the long comment ^^;

  4. Oh man, that sounds a lot like what my own sister is going through with her husband.

    Two things I can think of that you might want to look into. If she thinks she is strong enough she should look into Recapitulation techniques. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Recapitulation_%28Castaneda%29

    And if she doesn’t think she can do it herself she could look into finding a local Shaman who will do some Soul Retrieval work with her. Most any Shaman worth their salt will not charge for such a service, as long as the need is clear.

    This is going to sound forward but the heart keeps coming back to her because somewhere inside she wants it to. The only hold he has on her is what she’s given him. She needs to revoke his hold, and mean it by severing the tie she allowed him to place on her.

    Sorry if that was blunt! I’m a straight shooter and I honestly wish her the best!

    • In the recapitulation, if I’m getting this correctly, what it’s saying is that she should relive the moments they had together, down to the most insignificant detail. It’s kind of like a way of correlating it into her conscious mind?

      • That’s right. You relive and experience every emotion associated with the memories and let them go. It’s actually something a number of Shamans I know do daily, at the end of their day before sleep.

        So it’s like digging them up from memory and letting them go in order to heal. The process isn’t the most pleasant, especially when dealing with a broken heart, but it allows for tremendous healing and growth.

    • I agree completely. She needs to be the one to smash it. It will empower her, and be that much more effect.

      As for books on working with your shadow self, I recommend “in the shadow of 13 moons.” It starts out very basic and becomes advanced quickly. It is a great book!

  5. The ocean was my first thought, as well — while asking for the sea’s permission to have it absorb/neutralize the nasty energy, you could also make a point to offer the stone itself as a bauble in trade. (I also try to pick up some trash along the shore when I ask the ocean to do dirty work for me, as a token of thanks — it seems to be generally appreciated.)

  6. Lots of good advice here. I would check her shields first. Does she have any holes where she is letting him sneak in? Are there any strange spots on it that could be a connection between them?

    Perhaps see a reki or energy worker to check her over and help fix any of those problems. Corvidae is right, there is some small part of her that keeps letting him back in. Some unconscious part.

    I was once connected to someone who was very bad for me. One night I lay in bed and with my astral eyes found the cord between us. Every night I unwound a bit of it until it was open and seperated. It was a long process, but it was something I had to do myself once I was ready to really let go.

    Then I had to make sure my shields were whole. Then I spent a lot of time healing.

    As for the crystal I would cover it in salt. Bury it in a box full of salt and then bury it somewhere else asking the earth to recycle and remove any negativity attached to it.

  7. Hmmm, I’m not sure what to add. The above comments were really good suggestions. I second what the previous poster said about The Sister being the one to crush the stone. She needs to close any connection to this Demon Boy. She has to be ready, though. OTOH, he might be able to find any loophole, so protective magic might be in order. Banishing or binding could be useful.

    I really hope this demon spawn gets what he deserves.

  8. I would advise a Seven Bodies Healing for The Sister: basically, in a meditative state she should sever every energetic chord she finds, every hole in her aura for each one of her seven bodies (corresponding to the seven chackras).

    As for the crystal object …i would suggest a purifying ritual based on fire energy. Fire has a more immediate and forceful action than Hearth when it comes to spells, it might be what you need. . If she was other tokens of her time with him, I would burn those as well… make it into a Banishing spell of his influences in her life.

    • Also, making a bamishing oil, antointing the crystal with it before throwing into the fire might be helpful. The crystal won’t burn out, but the energies in it should…I would lock the remainings in a jar filled with ash and sea salt… bury somewhere.

  9. I’ve had some experiences with stones and rocks being taken over by crap I didn’t like. In most cases, I buried the damned things. I even accidentally unearthed two of them some years later and they are completely fine now. To the point that one of the is in my house again. So burial may be an option. I’ve also put things that fel funk on my cat’s collar before. And lo, that worked too.

    For me, the ocean is a nice option.

    I also feel that this stuff has as much effect on you as you let it. so mentally letting things go might be another angle. You could store it in sand in the meantime, in kemetic practices, San purifies. If you’re not sure, perhaps you should talk to your OTHERS about what they recommend. That’s kinda part of what they’re there for. You know?

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