The other day, a certain night-walking hedgehog asked for people to ‘call in’ with questions so she could get some Tarot practice in. I was instantly game because I had been wrestling all that day with whether or not I should give myself a reading. I decided against it and BAM! There was her entry asking for people to give her the low-down so she could get to work. Being a patron of the arts, and a fellow diviner, I absolutely could not turn away from an opportunity like that!
I asked two questions: 1. When can I expect a response from unemployment? 2. What should I focus my time off on?
The second question had an answer that I was already expecting. “I drew 3 cards to start: Elder Staff, Cauldron, Earth. I wanted a bit more clarification on Elder Staff, so I drew 2 more cards and put them underneath it; Initiation and Perfect Love, Perfect Trust. The staff is a tool in the hands of the teacher, the wielder, the elder. It is the support and the external sign of the elder’s power. To become the tool, you’ll need the other two cards. Without the elder to wield the staff, it’s a stick on the path, and goes nowhere. Initiation is a challenge to prove your worth, achievable with the trust and love for the path you want. It will be difficult, of course. It will most likely hurt. Can you walk without a safety net into the darkness? Trusting fully to the hands guiding you? After that, the other two cards are fairly simple. The Cauldron is the manifestation of something new or return of something old in a new way. Things are bubbling below the surface, full of potential. Paired with Earth (manifestation in physical), means with careful tending and methodical care you should get a favorable outcome. A stable outcome. Things are still fluxing, though, and it all hinges on the first card. The Staff has to be handled properly to move down the path as it is. If it does not move, the path changes.”
I kind of already knew that what she was going to tell me was going to happen. I’ve known, for a while now, that I need to start focusing on my spiritual practice and my craft during this off time. To be completely frank, the only reason I asked was because I was/am starting to lose focus. It’s hard to push aside the real-life stuff when it seems all-encompassing. The asking of the question and the answer provided were a form of reiteration or review of things that I had already known. It kicked my ass in gear long enough to finish off the blog entry I had started about TWS, Chapter One. It also kick-started me on my own Tarot Free-for-All.
Now, the response to the second question was kind of … it came from left field. “I get the strong impression that it will remain held up until Legba gets his wish, and possibly Hwt-Hrw (it’s not as clear with that one, but its kinda niggling that she’s involved, I think once Legba clears the way, maybe I don’t quite know… Like it will manifest through her, but not until he opens his door. Ish. Damn helpful, right? XD)” Huh. In all honesty, I wasn’t expecting a specific date or anything, but I sure as shit was not expecting that.
I might not have to say it, but I will. That answer stuck with me throughout the day.
The Sister called me some time later and said that she was going to pull out her cards and if that was the case, would I like a reading? I told her to call me when she had them in her hands. I already had a bazillion questions crowding in my head to ask. Sometimes, when she uses the Fairy Oracle, they’re more willing to spell shit out for a body. Then again, sometimes, they just like to smack you across the face with a battle-axe just to see what happens. And sometimes, that’s the exact answer that a body could use. However, that was not the kind of answer I wanted or needed, so I kind of began to re-think if I needed a reading from her.
So. I did my own.
Now, I had consciously tried to ask a question, but the cards don’t usually cooperate with what I am consciously asking. (The question had nothing whatsoever to do with the reading I had received already, but Papa Legba was involved in the question.) I’ve mentioned that I tend to suck balls when I do readings for myself. That’s part of the problem: the question I think I’m asking is not usually the question that is being answered. So, then, I have to backtrack and figure out what the hell is running through my head long enough to derail my Tarot reading. Then of course, there’s always the fact that I have the bitchiest time in figuring out what the hell the cards mean for me. Last night, I got it, though, pretty damn clearly.
I did a three card spread, but pulled a fourth for clarification. The 3 of Wands reversed; Death reversed; the 4 of Wands reversed and the Devil card, also reversed, was for clarification. The 3 of Wands was telling me that something I had started recently wasn’t turning out as I had hoped. However, it’s not entirely due to the fact that the court system takes forever. Part of the problem is also that I lack energy to transform ideas and desires into reality. This lack of energy is caused by (Death, reversed) a fear of change that hinders growth. So, a time of rest is at hand, but an obstacle (4 of Wands, reversed) must be overcome before I get there. Clarification was needed for what the obstacle was: (Devil, reversed) cutting the ties that bind as well as inhibitions are self-induced and being unable or unwilling to face up to them.
I tried to interpret all of this as I was self-sabotaging my response to the appeals process. However, that didn’t quite jive right because it was explained that Papa Legba needs to get his wish before it happens. So, what the hell did this reading have to do with his wish? I was so very, very, very, very, very, very confused. So, I pulled out another card for clarification purposes. This was the 8 of Pentacles (NOT reversed). There’s an opportunity to enter into an apprenticeship; time and effort will pay off. There isn’t much for financial rewards, but the foundation for success is laid.
It was at that card that I realized this reading had absolutely nothing to do with the appeals process. (I had already figured out it didn’t have anything to do with my question.) It was an addendum of a sort to the second question I had asked earlier, but it was also a response to the first question, in a manner of speaking. This is getting exciting because this is one of the first readings I’ve done for myself where I haven’t had to ask someone else to clarify the reading. Shit. I might even be getting good at this stuff. Okay, okay. I take back the horn tooting. I’m getting to the point!
I was told that Papa Legba, and to some extent, Hwt-Hrw, both need to have their wishes and requests granted before I see an outcome. (A good outcome. A good outcome. A good outcome.) Papa Legba is the guy who guards the gate, lives at the crossroads. He’s watching as we all make decisions. In my heart, I’ve made the decision as to what I want to do with this time off. And it’s clearly mentioned in the Eight of Pentacles: a new venture, a new opportunity. It’s the laying of foundation after a lot of hard work and effort are put into the laying of said foundation. It’s no get-rich-quick scheme, but it’s a solid start to something bigger. It’s just a simple matter of acting on it.
Simple. Yeah… right!
Still, if I want to get that door opened, I have to take the plunge.
And of course, that way leads to Hwt-Hrw.
I’ve come full circle in a year’s time. I’m back in front of Hwt-Hrw. This should be interesting.