William Shakespeare has all the best quotes.
While grocery shopping this afternoon, I was suddenly overcome by the incessant need for hot sauce. This occurred about two seconds before I got to the big huge wall o’ hot sauce. Now, if this doesn’t sound weird to you, it’s because you don’t know me that well. I loathe all things spicy. So, the urge for something that has never been in my house before? Yeah, that was the Old Man. It’s a compromise since the spiciest thing I make is taco meat from the Ortega pre-made spice mixture, which doesn’t help his need for hot stuff.
We’ve also been looking online for things that are decidedly lwa friendly. I have offering plates in the shape of an open lotus with hieroglyphs etched in to the center. I’ve got six or eight (I can’t think of how many right off the top of my head) of ’em that I had commissioned last year. He tolerated it once, which was enough. He assures me that my glass bowls will do until I buy him the bowl he screech-excited about. He’s also informed me that the black coffee is great, but the flowered mug has got to go. We’re busy searching for just the right mug. A lot of contenders, but nothing definite as of yet.
We’ve also been hinting around this formality stuff. I think I’ve got a general idea about it.
You see, before, I was giving him food and drink on occasion. It was either when I remembered or when I felt a nudge. It wasn’t regular and it wasn’t a normal thing for me. The Swamp Witch commented on my last post when I freaked about not knowing what he wanted. She mentioned about their need for things and food. That’s when I had the AH-ha! moment. It finally dawned on me, which is when we started looking for things for his use, and his use only.
Thus, the hot sauce.
This evening, he and I (and the Hubby) all shared a meal together. I hear this is a good way to get down with the lwa or something. Besides, how can you say no to an incorporeal being who’s obviously giving you the puppy dog eyes? Anyway, I made Moroccan salad, which is a healthy meal until you add the dressing that makes it terrific. I gave Papa Legba his own bowl and spritzed some hot sauce on top. (I know it’s customary to eat the offerings after the fact, but I don’t do hot sauce, so…) He then asked for a shot of tequila to wash it down with. I was a little surprised, but he seems to have bequeathed me and the Hubby the bottle of rum he had laid his hands on in September. Tequila is a new thing, but he is currently quite content. I haven’t heard a peep.
All of this chattering with the Old Man has made me realize that I haven’t done jack shit for my gods.
I’m like a kid, I guess. I get a brand-spanking-new toy and I’ve got to play with it. And it’s not that I have to, but to the detriment and sorrow of all my other toys. They’re pushed to the background while I play around with said new toy. As time passes, I get bored with my new toy (or break it), start playing with my old toys, and then just put them all away.
So, with all of this important formal conversation going around, I began to feel guilty in regards to Sekhmet. It started out as unease before it built into full-blown guilt. I know that she wouldn’t want me to feel guilty; she’s been very supportive with the whole Papa Legba thing. I mean, after all, it’s because of her that I met him in the first place. But… it’s just… I haven’t been ignoring her, per se… she’s just been at the back of my mind. I’ve given her a couple of offerings and we’re plotting for me to give blood on Yule. However, it seems… paltry.
Here I am, going all-out for Papa Legba, but I’ve never been able or willing to do likewise with Sekhmet. It doesn’t seem… I don’t know… fair? That seems like an odd term to use in regards to a god… I think the words I’m really looking for are ‘inexcusably unjust.’ Perhaps that’s a little harsh but that’s how it feels to me. I’m sure if Sekhmet is paying attention to any of this, she’s snickering at my stupidity or just rolling her eyes at me. But, it all just feels… It feels like an offense against my goddess.
I have all of these images of what I want to do for Legba. I want to give him offerings of food on a regular basis. I want to give him special items on Fridays, since he asked that be the day that I serve him especially. And again, I can’t help but hear the words, it’s not fair, coursing through my head when I think of Sekhmet. You know, I’ve done senut and all of that, but it never rang true for me. It was an automatic response to fill in a void. I was on automaton because I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing. However, it’s easier with Legba because he’s so… He’s completely in-my-face about what he wants because that’s just how he is. Sekhmet is more remote but that’s just how she is; that’s the way of a goddess.
I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way before because I only had other gods to compare my patron to. Hwt-Hrw was always coolly remote from me. Sekhmet was, to a point. She’s warmer with me than, say, Joe Blow over there who is also worshiping her. And I’ve gone into why I feel that is. However, she is still remote. It’s like having a best friend who lives across the world. And you try to communicate with them on a regular basis, but the timing is all off because of the time differences. But, it’s also more than that. It’s almost like feeling like a child to the majestic wonder that is Sekhmet.
So, I’ve started looking into specific Sekhmet related holidays. This is actually a very large step for me because this was always the most difficult aspect that I had with everything. There’s not a shit-ton of information about all of the Kemetic holidays, of which there are about a hundred million. The information for festival days in regards to Sekhmet is even harder to come by. There are at least three festivals that are particular to her that I can find absolutely nothing on. And before, this would stop me. I would get discouraged at this point and just say, “Fuck it.” But, if I’m seriously serious about Papa Legba, then the very least I can do is be seriously serious about Sekhmet.
I found a Wiki devoted to the Kemetic calendar and it also has a full listing of festivals by Kemetic dates. I’ve discussed how difficult the calendar is to narrow down in Kemetism. If we’re basing everything off of the ancient Egyptian calendar, then we have a lot of adding and subtracting. There’s narrowing down the exact rise of Sopdet to create the New Year… It’s really difficult, but it’s important. And it’s got to be done [by me]. I can’t keep waiting around for someone else to do it, which would have been just fucking fantastic. But, again, if I’m seriously serious about the Old Man, then I’ve got to be seriously serious about Sekhmet.
(Hm. I’m wondering if this is why she introduced the two of us.)
This listing as a generalized dating that coincides with the Julian calendar. I think it’ll do, for now, until I can spend more time and thought on how to coordinate a current calendar with festivals from a civilization that has been gone for thousands of years. Anyway, according to the calendar on that site, tomorrow is the start of IV Akhet. It’s also the first day of Ka-Hr-Ka/Choiak. That makes it a Feast Day of Sekhmet. (It also is claiming to be a Feast of Amun-Ra and Procession of Khnum-Ra and Nebtu in Esna.) I have my calendar all set up to ding-ding at me on my phone, reminding me that it is a Feast Day of Sekhmet. I am going to make her something special.
What? I haven’t the foggiest, but something.