In reading The Haitian Vodou Handbook a while back, I had come across the constant practice that if the lwa wanted something, but you were unable to provide (for financial reasons or others), then a deal could be struck with the lwa in question. The lwa are understanding that life does get in the way, and if they really desire something, then they will have to assist in getting it done. However, once the resources are freed, then you had better honor the deal. Or else.
Papa Legba had said some time ago that he really wanted a skull to represent him on my Omni-Altar in the kitchen. For obvious reason, money has been an excessive problem lately so the wanting just went on wanting. While I fight the unemployment battle, I have to be exceedingly careful, especially since I don’t know how the whole thing is going to come about. Well, this week, I swore to Papa Legba (and I will reiterate tonight) that if he helps me to win this case, then I would buy him the skull statue we settled on.
I also decided that I would make deals like that with both of my patron goddesses, Hwt-Hrw and Sekhmet. At first, I was a little uncertain as to what I should particularly say to them and what, specifically, I should offer up.
Now, on the one hand, I can get a new tiger eye pendant to represent Sekhmet. I haven’t worn any pendants to either deity since the last one fell off the chain. I figure that since I am not in the same situation as I was back then, I won’t have to worry too much about Papa Legba being his devilish little self and making it fall off. And in the same vein, I can get a charm pendant in the shape of a witch’s hat for Hwt-Hrw since she (A) picked it out and (B) wants me to get back into magic.
Then, I thought about it. These were simple things that anyone could say, “Hey, guess what? Look what I did for you.” I am not saying that, at some point, these ends will not be met because they will be. I want that charm to go on a self-made charm bracelet that I’m starting to map out in my mind. (I have one charm for a patron down; two more to go.) I feel like I need something with a bit more substance for this.
So, as to Sekhmet, I made an appointment to donate blood for the first time on Tuesday. That is what I have offered to her in regards to assisting me in the appeal tomorrow. As for Hwt-Hrw, she’s still a problem. She isn’t like Sekhmet, who I know well and no longer have to wonder what, specifically, it is that she wants. Papa Legba is loud and has no problem with saying, “I WANT THAT! I WANT THAT!” Hwt-Hrw is a little more difficult to figure out and to understand. I know that what she wants must be related to magic in some way, since this has been the direction I’m being pushed when I think of her.
But, what? Buy a book about hedgecraft? That just doesn’t seem like it’s as all-encompassing as the things I chose for my other two patrons. It doesn’t seem to be enough, from my perspective. Perhaps a harder concentration on all things magic. It once meant a lot to me and I want it to again… Hm. I should pay more attention to my intuition.
On a not-so-related-note, I had a dream last night about a lightly colored nigh stand. In the center of the stand, there was an orange pot and in the middle of this pot, there was a writhing Venus fly trap. I was standing off to the right of this stand while someone was standing just opposite me, although I don’t know who. This person said, “Erzulie.” And I answered, “Which one? Freda? Or, Danto?” However, the only response to these questions (which was repeated so much in this dream that I woke up asking these questions) was “Erzulie.”
I don’t know what that all means.
I feel like I don’t know what much means anymore.
I can do this, though. I can figure this out and I can win.