I’ve mentioned previously that I am a strong believer in reincarnation. I think I’ve connected my fist real touch with reincarnation to–don’t laugh–The X Files episode, The Field Where I Died. The synopsis reads: “Agents Mulder and Scully investigate a suspicious religious cult, which inadvertently draws Mulder into recalling a past life, in the field where he died.” And at the age of thirteen, as young and impressionable as I was, I don’t think I had come across the aspect of reincarnation in an instant that was as forceful as this particular episode. Plus… it stands to reason that it would stay with me as The X Files played a major part in my childhood, David Duchovny was my first (adult) crush on a cinematic star, and conspiracy theories! Duh.
I also think they did a very good job of explaining the theory and beliefs behind it. There is nothing more powerful than watching a man you’ve crushed on since you were nine or ten cry as he relives the moment that he died during the Civil War. Even though, the entire show is a piece of fiction (…or is it?), it still sticks with you. When it comes to… alternative theories, The X Files is pretty much on top, but in all of the times that I’ve watched it, they’ve rarely touched on religious beliefs. And of course, I consider reincarnation a ‘religious belief’ not merely because it factors highly in eastern doctrines and philosophies, but because it is also a a part of my religious belief.
So, at the age of thirteen, I think it really started to cement a basic tenet in my belief system.
I mentioned briefly in my previous posts about how I strongly believe that after death, the ka transcends to… some place so that it can rest, relax, realize, and integrate the lessons learned in its previous existence. It takes the information gained into the being it will one day grow to be. I’m not sure what, specifically, happens at this point since, though I may have a ka, it hasn’t felt the need to enlighten me on this. It doesn’t matter. After it has internalized what it received during its living incarnation, it re-plots the course for the future. It takes into account the aspects it had wanted to learn, but failed for whatever reason. It takes into account any manner of thing, but it is mostly what wasn’t achieved in the previous life that makes all the difference. It utilizes this information to start crafting the next life.
And I don’t think that the ka crafts the next life by itself, at least not entirely. I think that there is help. There are certain people in a person’s life that mean very greatly to them. I believe that they have so much meaning and affect their lives so much because it’s planned that way. I’m not saying that everyone in a person’s life plotted kas together. I think that it’s the people who mean the most and have effected the most that stems from kas coordinating.
I used to joke when I was younger that I could see my ka and the ka of my best friend giggling over a large bowl of water, possibly used for a form of scrying in the creation of the next life. The two of us are giggling over when we would meet and the how and the mechanics behind it. The two of us are laughing as we choose which roll each of us fall into: the dominant personality versus the submissive; the sibling rivalry; the lovers’ spats. What have you. The two of us have been through a lot just in this life. It always seemed to make sense to me that we had been through a lot together in other lives, as well.
I think that each ka has its own purpose to achieve as it crafts things out. I think that each purpose is life-specific. I don’t think that each purpose is finished with just one life, at least not very often. I think… I think that’s why there is so much history running around. Just because the ka wants to learn this one very important lesson doesn’t mean that it’s possible to learn it in just one fell swoop. A ka can plan all it wants, but it doesn’t mean that something unexpected won’t arise. I mean, what if an early, unexpected death takes away the ability to learn the lesson, period? Or, not even that, but what if the ka doesn’t actually end up learning the lesson it wanted because its physical manifestation changed it up or made a different decision than the ka initially had wanted?
In writing about all of this, I realize that I don’t give a lot of mention to “free will.” But, it’s there. Just because the ka wants this, this, and this to happen in a preferably specific way so that it can continue on its journey doesn’t mean that the physical manifestation won’t get with the program. Hell, the creation of THE SOUL™ could screw up the very expectations that the ka has in mind. I wouldn’t know, obviously, but it’s always a possibility, isn’t it?
I’ve always felt that fate had something to do with life; destiny.
In having written out all of these basic tenets that I want to use to support the religion that I am hand-crafting for myself, I haven’t harped on these things, either. And in re-reading (and re-reading and editing, re-reading and editing, re-reading and editing, re-reading editing… get the point?) all of this, I realize that I never really mentioned this amorphic belief because in what the ka has created, as far as I am concerned, it is a sort of fate, a sort of destiny. Whenever the “it’s fated” card gets pulled during a reading, I think, “Oh. This is what the ka has planned. Well… what the fuck, man?” (That’s almost a verbatim statement, right there.)
It is pre-planned, but as in all things, free will can change it up at any given moment. Just because the ka wants their physical body to walk straight down this path right here doesn’t mean that the person is going to. The ka is all just background noise and subconscious music: what it wants and desires don’t figure in to the day-to-day decision making that is free will. Just because your dreams start becoming more realistic or easier to remember doesn’t mean that the ka is going to get the free will to go take a flying leap. It may be trying to communicate, but it’s the person, the who you are, that makes the decisions.
And that is probably why so often, the ka is sitting around and trying to plan out the future, the life it wants. And why, so often, it has to learn and relearn the same things over and over and over again. I guess that, more than anything, would be why there really is so much human history to sift through.