I’ve been working, all day, on the things I mentioned here that I needed to work on. It’s been a really tiring day and I’m not done yet. I just want to go barreling through all of this and get it over with, but I know that in writing it all out… It’s not really solving the overall problem I still have.
And that really aggravates me.
What the fuck else am I supposed to do, huh?
Should I open up a vein and bleed it all out? Should I cry about it? Should I ask for forgiveness or grant it? How the fuck do I do any of these things because it’s just not in my nature. Here, I am, letting it all the fuck out and it hurts and sucks and makes my brain hurt. But, I don’t know where to go after all of this. I don’t know how to do the ‘letting go’ part of this exercise.
I don’t know how to do this.