Meticulous Planning Never Fucking Works.

I’m always trying to figure out what’s next, what’s next; what’s the fucking plan, man? This is a fault of mine that I’m trying to overcome with the help of Papa Legba. That’s his first lesson: plans are for babies; go with the flow. I’d like to think that planning out the dinner menu for the week or what I’m going to wear on the morrow or even what we’re going to do tonight is not included in any of this. Then again, it is Papa Legba so who the fuck knows? The man’s one crazy bastard, but he’s my crazy bastard so it works out.

I’ve been trying to figure out where to go from here; what the path is. Unfortunately, on top of being my crazy bastard, Papa Legba is also the lwa of the crossroads. This means that instead of having a choice of this, this, or this… I actually have a choice of this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, or that, that, that, that, and that. It’s not like he could be the spirit that manifests at a simple, four directional crossroad. Oh, no. He has to manifest at the zaniest fucking place ever. (On a side note, I don’t think anyone realizes how fucking nasty mugwort tea is. Just sayin’.) It’s like he partnered up with M.C. Escher to create the home of his crossroads or some shit.

Since Mabon, I’ve been thinking about what to do with this whole spiritual thing. I think I’ve gotten some ideas (NOT PLANS, IDEAS MOTHERFUCKER) that could actually get somewhere. I need, like, a messenger bag or something so that I can start planning out just what I want in my traveling altar kit. I’ve looked this stuff up (there are a lot of people who have these things, did you know that?) and it’s a lot more common that I had given myself credit for. I just want to work from the outside in because it’s so much harder to buy shit that’s monstrously expensive (like the messenger bag that I really like, for example) and then work my way to cheapest. I can scrounge up scents for candles, but it’s harder to come up with, say, twenty or thirty bucks for the carrying case.

As far as what I want in it at all times: the tray and martini glasses that I used at Mabon. I also want the white pillar candle and candle holder that I bought. I think storing a lighter within the confines would be appropriate. From there, it’s all hit or miss. I’ve considered putting my (HARDLY IF EVER USED) athame inside. That way, it has a home and it’s not taking up space in the giant fucking drawer o’ shit I have it in now. And, you know, maybe I’ll use it… or something. (In looking up more mini traveling altars, I happened to stumble on this and thought it was the cutest fucking thing ever. And very inventive.) Maybe I’ll shove the small besom that’s just hanging out over my door in there for, like, space clearing. GAH. I DON’T KNOW. AND I’M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE PRE-PLANNING THIS FUCKING SHIT, WHICH IS DRIVING ME FUCKING NUTS.

I’ve also become vaguely interested in hedge witchcraft and/or traditional witchcraft. It would appear that they are similar, although not the same. They’re both more primal based witchcraft. The hedge witch, though, seems to form into a more shamanic arena than the trad witch. Then again, I could be wrong about that since there really isn’t a lot of information that I’ve found about these things. I found, like, two books about hedge witchcraft, but I’m leery of them because (A) all the reviews are oh-so-fucking-happy and (B) I’m pretty sure I read somewhere that the books are about a Wicca-based hedge witchcraft… And I am not interested in that.

I didn’t like Wicca before and I am not interested in it now.

I don’t know. I think that the more primal, spirit-walking path that appears to be the case in hedge witchery is important. I think it’s a good thing to look into. I don’t know if that means that I should go in that route. Shit. Even if I should, it’s not like I can plan that all fucking out because you-know-who is against that shit. Grumble, grumble. I know, though, that the whole hedge witch thing also involved a lot of hard work (that could be useful and, uh, necessary, maybe) and a lot of stuff to do with green, nature, plant lore, etc. It’s not quite green witchcraft, but it’s vaguely related and twice removed, you know?

Just thinking about it is giving me a fucking headache.

Or, it could be this mugwort tea.

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4 thoughts on “Meticulous Planning Never Fucking Works.

  1. Mmm.. mugwort tea. Hope you had a shit ton of honey.

    I think that traveling altar you linked to is the cutest thing ever! If I was still into that sort of a thing, I would totally WANT IT!

    Anyway, going with the flow is easy. Just lie back and enjoy the ride.

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