I am in a complete mad dash to find protective something-or-others to replace the stone sets I have at work. Quite obviously, little black tourmaline and clear quartz stones are just not fucking working what with every fucking asshole picking them up. They return them to me, but that’s just so not satisfactory for me. They need to stay the fuck where they are put because that is the fuck where I put them. I wish we had a strict “hands off” policy, but I don’t think I could inflict said policy on my staff when in conjunction with miscellaneous crystals/gems that they accidentally find.
So. Someone recommended that I draw sigils on pieces of paper which I then fold up into little itty-bitty pieces and tape them in place. WHAT A MOTHERFUCKING BRILLIANT FUCKING IDEA?!?!?!?! WHY DID I NOT THINK OF THIS?!?!?!?! I’m just not that intelligent, I guess.
All right. So. Clap the hands and dust off the trousers and LET’S GET STARTED.
Oh. Wait. What the fuck kind of sigils does a body use when they want to protect their store? And Google search after Google search has brought me to a shit-ton of websites who DO NOT KNOW HOW TO ASSIST MORONS SUCH AS MYSELF. They have cute little suggestions, but I want a “here is the picture and this is what this picture means” kind of a website. It would be very simple and easy and there you go. Bob’s your uncle. Wam-bam, thank you, ma’am. That’s all she wrote. I’m out of stupid little sayings.
And, seriously, I’m not even remotely interested in creating my own little sigil.
But in reality, I need something and pretty quick. I mean, not like right-this-second-right-now fast. But, not in the too far future. I need something that will assist in keeping me out of the line-of-sight at my job. Seriously. This place is fucking me left and right. I mean, I’m drinking. For fuck’s sake, I’m drinking. (You don’t know me, but that’s bad.) This place haunts my dreams and my waking life. I can’t ever go anywhere or do anything without them needing something or calling me. THIS JOB IS EVERYWHERE IN MY LIFE AND I NEED IT TO FUCKING GET.
Oh. Hurr, hurr. Hi, Papa Legba. How are you?
So. I need something or lots of somethings to keep my store protected. I need something or a lot of somethings to keep it calm, cool, and collected between the ‘tards that work for me. And I need something to keep me invisible to the brass asses.
That’s not a tall order, right?