Say Who to the Whatsit?

Yeah, yeah. I’m pretty fucking sure that my life is about to get really fucking weird.

I keep having odd dreams about work and I don’t know if it’s a foretelling of what’s to come or if it’s just stress. It could be stress. My job is pretty fucking stressful: I’m a glorified babysitter and I only make about as much as your average school teacher. Okay, so maybe I haven’t been doing this managing gig long enough to qualify for a higher pay rate, but considering the phone calls I get after hours? I should at least get hazard pay for some of the shit they put me through. And never mind the hazard pay I should get for the BS the office puts me through! Yeah, so, anyway. Moving on.

All right. So, the dream thing. Usually, if I start dreaming about work it means that I’m under a lot of stress and if I want to get out of it, then I really should get my ass into finding a new job. However, these dreams are… they don’t feel like they’re all due to stress. They feel like there’s a point to them. I don’t know how to explain the whole difference in feeling in my dreams. Except to say that not only am I dreaming excessively about work, but I’m also dreaming excessively about trees.

And not just any trees. But, like, old and gnarled trees. In an old and gnarled forest. It kind of looks like this picture, but not really. First of all, everything is in color. I feel that I should point that out, just in case anyone thinks I’m color blind or something. And the trees are more closely together and there is no nice looking landscaping on either side of this gnarly tree path thing. It’s just dark forest. But, not like, you know, scary dark forest, but just like it’s so crowded with trees and other forms of plant life that sunlight can’t actually penetrate. So, not scary, but just… old and gnarly. It just feels… OLD. And this has something to do with something that is probably important and probably has something to do with a major change in my life.

I mean, c’mon. I don’t dream about fucking trees.

And just to double check myself, I took a peek at trees at a website for dream dictionary-ing and yeah. That’s just… not helpful or even remotely close to anything that I want to know or care about.

So, okay. YAY! TREES! BOO! NOT KNOWING.

I’ve also had this distinct impression that I should probably pull out my Tarot cards. And I seriously consider it for all of two-point-five seconds. It’s not that I don’t want to listen to my intuition or instincts or secret self or what the fuck ever. It’s just a matter of… you know, having the time and not being lazy and you know. I really shouldn’t disturb the VERY THICK LAYER OF DUST that has accumulated over my Tarot deck box. I mean, that would just be wrong. And in all reality, the reason I don’t pull it out is because I need to dust and clean things out and vacuum before I go all willy-nilly with the divination shit.

And, of course, the laziness thing plays a minor factor.

Minor. Really.

I keep looking at the bare wall where once my [future] familial shrine was pressed against. And I can’t help but picture a large table overladen with various offerings to… someone. I swear to the gods that this is Papa Legba sneaking in, I’ll scream.

I’ll welcome him because he kind of scares the fucking hell out of me, but you know, I’ll scream right after.

Or maybe I’m just being delusional.

Isn’t that what they used to tell people who heard the voice of God?

So. To sum up: something big and important is coming and I’m still unsure if Papa Legba is asking permission to come on in. Sigh. Sigh. Aggrieved sigh.

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5 thoughts on “Say Who to the Whatsit?

  1. If you ever figure out a way to figure this out, let me know. I’m still ruminating a year-old dream I got where Ghede came in, and what the hell it meant.

    I don’t trust my current tarot deck at the moment, because I’m so out of tune with them, plus they feel overwhelmingly fucking cheery. Or they just like focusing on the positive. Which is not.. what I need at the moment. I need accuracy, damnit! Ergh.

    • Unfortunately, I don’t think I’m going to come up with an answer anytime soon. Argh.

      I stopped using my oracle decks because they were always so fucking positive that I wanted to slit my throat. “Things will be getting better! Promise!” But when I ask about the pre-getting better events, they’d just be like, “Stay positive!” I wanted to puke every time I drew a card.

      I definitely need some accuracy over here.

      • Hey, at least you don’t have the Fairy Oracle bitch slapping you whenever they get a chance. It seriously feels like they get off on saying “fuck you and your problems, bitch”.

  2. For me, I can never figure out what tarot cards I should pull out, and of course, being too insanely lazy to actually do something about it anyway. I’ve (mostly) dusted off my tables (well the tops anyway), And I know I should be cleaning out Aphrodite’s drawer because, let’s face it, it’s full of useless shit that I have put off taking out of it.

    And hey, at least you are dreaming about trees instead of people coming up to you and telling you you are pregnant. Or constantly switching characters/genders. :)

    • I’m even more pathetic with the Tarot thing: I only have the one active deck. And yet, I can’t even move it away from where it currently resides. It’s like, “Yeah, I should just like dust it off.” And then I’m like, “Wow, there’s something that’s more important on television, outside, that’s shiny… whatever that has nothing to do with my Tarot cards.” It’s so fucking retarded. I just need to do something.

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