The Only Thing That Is Humiliating is Helplessness.

I posted this, recently, on TC:

Before I get into the most recent occurrence, I’ll give some background.

I moved into an apartment that had a really… not cohesive family in it before my family. I’ve smudged the negativity away and lit candles for various things. Not a big deal. Well, a few months ago, my Hubby tells me that I should re-smudge my son’s room. When I asked him why (wasn’t I just startled when he told me to smudge), he told me that recently, our son had been getting scared while in his room. When he was asked what made him scared, he would point to his wall. “That.” So, I did a minor smudge. No problem.

Well, last night, my mommy senses kicked in at about… four in the morning. I had heard my son moving around in his room since I heard the telltale clunk of his blocks. (He litters his floor with blocks before bedtime and no, I don’t know why.) So, I waited for him to come running into my room… but he didn’t. I thought, “Okay, I’m hearing stuff.” I got up just to check on him and that’s when he threw his light on and came flying out at me in the hallway. He was shaking from head to toe and practically frozen. Since I have the heat set at 65-degrees and my tiny place is at a comfortable 68-70, I couldn’t figure it out.

So, I brought him into our room and settled him right down. I figured I’d ask him about any scary dreams in the morning. I roll over to go to sleep and I felt… something… looming over me. I had the feeling of something dark and frightening just frickin’ looming over me. Images of pointed teeth and dark eyes danced in my head. I was pretty damn scared and really upset when I opened my eyes to find nothing there. I, of course, couldn’t help but think of my Sister asking me, repeatedly when she would sleep over, if I had been looming over her in her sleep. I told whatever the hell was looming over me to go away and that just about pissed… something off. I think the reason it was pissed off at me to begin with was because I had put my son in the middle of the bed so that any “scary monsters” had to (metaphorically) get through me to get through him. And that’s what the… thing… felt, too.

I was unable to go back to sleep until daylight. I had three frightening instances while I kept vigil. 1. I felt the blankets move, like they were being peeled back from my side of the bed. I had visions of Paranormal Activity in my head. 2. I watched as my bedroom door wiggled back and forth. This is nearly impossible since I have it pushed all the way open and it gets snagged on the carpeting of my bedroom floor when it’s pushed back that far. It also didn’t make the usual noise it does when it is moved: a hushed crrrr kind of sound as the wood scrapes across the carpeting. 3. I heard the telltale thumping-bumping noises that people often describe. You had better believe I couldn’t get back to sleep after all of that. I thought my heart was going to pound out of my chest with all of the fear-induced adrenaline running through my system.

Today, I plan on cleaning my house from top to bottom. I am going to use white sage in every room of my house, including the bathroom. I am going to use my cinnamon besom to sweep the negativity out of my house. I plan on lighting my guardian protector candle and my home blessing candle (what’s left of them). These are the only steps that I can think to take.

A lot of people have really come through in helping me to figure this out. In fact, I’m eternally grateful for all of the suggestions that people have given me.

FWIW, my experience is that banishing these things is the best route- not asking, but ordering it to leave through whatever means you feel most comfortable. In my world that would mean using the LPBR in combination with a liberal amount of dragonsblood incense. As a part of this, I will also ask for intervention from any and all that would be willing to benevolently watch over and guard the child and/or family.

I follow this by washing down any troublesome areas (such as your wall) with a decoction of banishing herbs (specifically- agrimony, vervain, rosemary, raspberry leaf, sage, and dragonsblood). In the event that these aren’t handy, salt water will do. Then, I’ll thoroughly cleanse first the most ‘active’ rooms and then the remainder of the house. Finally, a warding around the outside of the house itself. That should take care of ‘cleaning house’ of anything unwanted. That’s my method, but I’ve also been known to go after gnats with elephant guns. Overkill doesn’t not exist in my vocabulary if a child is being frightened by something uninvited.

I plan on following the advice listed above for this thing. I bought the herbs that I don’t have in my coffers (vervain, agrimoney, and raspberry leaf as well as some of dragon’s blood since I do not wish to steal all of The Sister’s). Once I get them in, I will go about making the infusion that she mentioned and wash down the wall that bothers my Son the most. I may also rearrange his room so that he isn’t bothered by having his bed on the same side as the wall that is “scary.”

While washing the wall, I plan on saying the follow hymn:
Run out, thou who comest in darkness, who enterest in [stealth (?)], his nose behind him, his face turned backward, who loses that for which he came.
Run out, thou who comest in darkness, who enterest in [stealth (?)], her nose behind her, her face turned backward, who loses that for which she came.
Comest thou to kiss this child? I will not let thee kiss him.
Comest thou to soothe (him)? I will not let thee soothe him.
Comest thou to harm him? I will not let thee harm him.
Comest thou to take him away? I will not let thee take him away from me.
I have made his protection against thee out of Efet-herb, it makes pain; out of onions, which harm thee; out of honey which is sweet to (living) men and bitter to those who are yonder (i.e. the dead); out of the evil parts of the Ebdu-fish; out of the jaw of the meret; out of the backbone of the perch.

I will, of course, have to make some changes to the end of it since I do not plan on using fish guts, onions, or the efet-herb to banish this thing.

It was also recommended that I empower my son in helping this. To date, to get rid of his fears, he comes running to me. He has some fairly extreme fears about things (the vacuum cleaner, for one). However, I think I can get him to at least feel that he’s being protected. I had commissioned a picture of Bes just before this most recent set of incidents and that picture will be going over his head while he sleeps. I also plan on making him a spray bottle “elixir” to empower him more. I hope this works. (And I really hope he doesn’t start spraying his “magic elixir” at the electronics in his room…)

I think what bothers me the most about this is that I just starting thinking about going back into witchcraft and this comes up. I understand that heka is part and parcel to my religion, but I was going to go full tilt: kitchen witch all of the way. Then this happens and I can’t help but feel like I’m being transported back to a time when I was part of a Coven and the EM was constantly having to “battle” against “the forces of darkness.” (No shit. Seriously.) It’s fucking ridiculous.

And since this has happened, Sekhmet has been dictating things to me. It’s both reassuring and irritating.


4 thoughts on “The Only Thing That Is Humiliating is Helplessness.

  1. I did a sage smudge and some negativity sweeping, which has kept it at bay so far. I think I am going to do another sage burn in my son’s room, but I plan on adding some dragon’s blood to it. (That should be interesting–I hear the smell is horrific.)

  2. The dragon’s blood is insanely sticky. But I wouldn’t say that the smell was horrific.

    Hope everything is working out in this area. I really wish that it was just my imagination when I felt something “looming” over me while I slept. What makes me wonder is, why is it all of a sudden coming out and affecting everyone else?

  3. I had an odd impression of him Saturday night, but I told him to fuck the fuck off.

    Honestly, I don’t know why it suddenly came out of the wood work. I don’t think I really care, though.

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