My gods are happy, which of course makes me rather happy. They’re both munching out to Honey Nut Cheerios today with some water. It really amazes that the two of them enjoy some of the more processed foods, but I guess it shouldn’t. Honey Nut Cheerios are supposed to be healthy and since both of them are aspects of one another, the health aspect of the meal makes them both happy. I suppose in a few more minutes, I’ll gather up the meals and set about demolishing the Honey Nut Cheerios myself.
My gods are happy. I dreamed of them both last night, which was refreshing. I think we three were all walking on desert sands, which makes sense. We always are when I dream of them. There were chats and laughs and admonishments and heartfelt pleas. This makes me feel better about a lot of things, although there are still some holes to fill in. I enjoyed the time we had together, even if we were only walking in dreams.
Hwt-Hrw has decided that I need to get back to my witch roots. I kind of frowned a little bit at her and said a few snotty things–per usual–but she raises a valuable point. I’ve always been powerful in numerous ways. I walk the world to the beat of my own drum and I have to remember that a part of that includes spell craft as well as the mundane of daily devotionals. I forged away from the path, though, after the EM fucked The Sister and I both over. I’m a little bothered by getting back into it, but I have to get back to what feels right and natural.
Spell work is a part of that.
This is also, as Hwt-Hrw has explained, her domain. She is the grand goddess of magic, so to speak. There is a reason why my Tarot cards live beneath her altar. She holds them in safety for me until I feel the need of them. (Just talking about them makes my fingers itch…) If I want to truly follow the way of the world with her beside me, I not only have to be the mother that I am destined to be but I also have to get back into the magic fore. I have to cast of the bitter taste in my mouth that the EM left there and move on. I have to get back into spells and kitchen witchery.
Sekhmet also heartily agrees. She thinks that while I’m finally doing things for myself (health-wise, which makes her happier than a pig in shit), the whole spell thing will help to heal. She reminds me that the circle casting and the spell casting that I once held myself within were rigid strictures that weren’t necessarily helpful. In fact, she felt that they kept me back just as the EM, herself, did. So, I have to forge out, yet again, alone and uncertain into a land that I once thought I was leaving far behind.
I have to be the witch that I was always meant to be.
This is also means that I need to start picking up supplies. No longer, however, will I gather big batches of herbs around me, unsure of what I need them all for. I won’t go out and buy a mass of things that I hope I will use one day. I will only buy the things that I will use one day. I will do this with intuition and certainty, just as The Sister told me years ago. It’s the way of my newest goddess and the will of both of my gods.
It is what it is.
So, I need to get back into the “grimoire” aspect, which always made me feel silly. Here, I have a book and I write spells down in the hopes that they will not only work for me but one day, for my descendants and my friends as well. I don’t like the… stability of it. I want to pick and choose and throw things out, but I do want to have something that Rowan and my future son (I don’t know who he is, but I know he will exist one day) to go through with their children and their grandchildren and so forth. I want to leave this written spell record, but I’m old school. It’s got to be paper, and not a computer, all the way.
This leads me to another binder. A binder and loose leaf paper. In the front pocket of the binder, I will print out (ON MY VERY OWN PRINTER, BABY) the 42 Laws of Ma’at and keep them in plastic wrap so that they will always be clean. I want the Eleven Laws of the Gods, as well, in plastic wrap to keep them clean and nice. This is the beginning of my new grimoire. It’s just a matter of getting it all together so I can have it.
I think I’ll keep my herbs in the kitchen since Hwt-Hrw suggest kitchen witchery–a path I hadn’t explored before the EM mess–and see how that goes. However, the grimoire itself will be stationed with her because she is, after all, the goddess of magic.