The shrine is the seat of the First Time. It is creation in motion and stillness. It is the place where everything is in perfect alignment and where everything is renewed. Including your soul.
Everything breathes, everything is nourished and everything lives from this Moment. And this is what happens when you offer in shrine. The incense is the First Breath, the water is the Nun, the Father and Mother of Creation, and the fire is the First Light, the First Dawn of Ra, the one whose tears are humankind.
Every time you purify, you cleanse yourself of entropy and blockages so that you are renewed. Every time you offer, your ka is renewed. Every time you offer to Us, you are feeding and renewing Our ka.
This is what it means to maintain creation. This is reciprocal. Both are renewed.
For the entire month of December, I had stopped giving offerings to my deities. I spoke to them, but rarely. I burned a candle or two and I felt like an interloper when I went to pull my Tarot cards from the shrine of Hwt-Hrw. I could feel the enmity and ire from Sekhmet; the hurt and the confusion from Hwt-Hrw. I had, as this journal can attest, a few things to work out. For the entire month of December I had stopped worshiping, more or less, my gods and I felt parched.
I was desolated inside. It was as though concertina wire and razor blades and everything else had ripped open my soul. I was a wasteland; a desert. My soul was the cold, piercing screaming wind that you might expect to find in Antarctica. My soul was the harsh, dry, sand-swept wind that you might find in the Sahara. My soul was crying inside because without the nourishment of the ka of my netjeru, I was doing my utmost best to kill my very insides.
I was an automaton.
I was nothing.
I did not purify myself, so the blockages and entropy remained. I did not offer, so neither my soul nor theirs could be renewed. I could hardly write in my spiritual journal fore what could I speak about? There is no spirit if there are no gods. I could only stare at my Tarot cards for a few short minutes before I had to put them away. I had to energize for nearly a week before I could read them and then, only in short increments. My headaches came back with a vengeance for even the amethyst stones were failing me.
I had affected so much just by one choice, but it’s always that way.
A major life change happens in the single decision one makes in regards to something that is seemingly innocuous. It is only later through the listening and reading and the realizations that it completely dawns that the innocuous decision was actually a tidal wave that is still causing resounding affectations in everything and anything around you. It’s always the way, isn’t it?
So, here I am.
I am renewed and restored and purified. I am cleansed within as well as with-out. I am in perfect accordance with the needs and desires of my netjeru. I give unto them as they give unto me. Without them, I am nothing and my soul realizes this. With them, I am everything and I am one with my destiny.
It is a good thing I found this path for, I think, I would be lost and wandering even now, if I had failed to hear the pleas of my gods…