Yesterday, I received the statue of Hwt-Hrw that I had bought. Honestly, I wasn’t expecting it for another two days or so. I was over-joyed at it and instantly wanted to open it. However, I had made plans, so I had to wait until I came home. Finally, I had more than a few seconds to ogle the statue. It shames me to say, considering my pretty well known anti-Hwt-Hrw stance, that I was so overjoyed at the look and feel of her that I just about was speechless. Honestly, I was like a kid on Christmas morning. It’s sad that something so small can bring such joy, but that is the will of the gods.
Who am I to question?
I paid a small offering to both netjeru on my
boxaltar. I lit my kyphi candle that I adore and let it go to town while Anthony, Rowan, and I watched a movie in our room. At some point, the candle itself went out. The wax build up is all around the wick, which is severely bent so it could have gone out at any time, but it isn’t like I would notice. I have to keep this candle for the two of them until further notice, meaning that I have to buy another pillar so that I have one for each deity, and I want to burn it for them at least once a day. I have no idea how to pull the wick out without severing it entirely. I’ll have to see if I can get one of those long-handled lighters and burn the wax away. Or something.
Anyway, so with Hwt-Hrw sleeping closest to my head, I had a very odd dream last night.
I was at work and my ex-husband came in the store. He went over to the Subway inside and looked like he was going to order. Then, he saw me and we were both all smiles together. It was as if everything was naturally amicable, as we claimed it was, though our ending was anything but nice. He was telling me that I wouldn’t see him for a while because his car had broken. I interrupted him and asked him if he meant his big, white truck that I had last seen him in. He said that was the case and the part that was broken was an expensive fix, which was being put to the way side in the face of other bills. The overall feeling of the dream was contentment and serenity, which are not emotions I tend to equate with that man.
I know that this dream was sent to me by Hwt-Hrw, but I ponder the meaning behind it. I mean, what could this possibly mean?
At the end of our marriage, I was terrified of my husband’s anger and controlling nature. He was anything, but nice. He tries to be friendly, as far as it goes, should we meet face to face, but that’s the jist of it. I know that he does not remember me or our relationship very fondly when he does. I have the same feelings of enmity and ire when I think back on things. However, mostly the ire stems from the fact that I was such an idiot for as long as I was. Que sera, sera, though.
I have no idea if what the goddess is trying to tell me is that I should let it go as it is interfering with the current relationship, thus the inference that I would not be seeing him any time soon…? Or, does she mean to tell me that my fears of seeing him in a public venue before I am ready are groundless? Or, does she mean to say that I should just get the fuck over everything already because it’s done and over with and has been for three years now? Or, is she just trying to fuck with my head?
Personally, I am of the last selection in the possibilities, although I doubt that this is the case.
It’s all well and fine to send me dream, Hwt-Hrw, but please bring a translation next time!